Finding joy in the simple things keeps me sane from not fitting in. Blessings to you all. Is there something in the water here?
@squirrel-gardens Welcome to the forum. ❤️ Taking care of a beloved life partner with Alzheimers is a major life challenge. Above all else, above the powerful message you just posted about living where you live, I hope you will stay with us and tell us your story. Love, love, and more love to you.
As for whether there is something in the water where you live, I too would like to understand more about your question. Are you in a rural area or the city?
@squirrel-gardens. Welcome to the forum. I’m glad you have found us. Taking care of a loved one with Alzheimer’s is one of the hardest challenges of life, physically, mentally, and emotionally. And it must be one of the purest expressions of love to do this caregiving. I’ve seen it first hand when my mother took care of my stepdad as he slipped into dementia in the last years of his life. During the last weeks of my stepdad’s life, he was very confused, combative and lost in his own world. One day, we had arranged for all the siblings to come in for a family meeting and my stepdad was very happy and more cheerful than he had been for a long time. He couldn’t carry on a conversation and hadn’t been able to do that for a year or more, but you could tell by his behavior that he was happy. Afterwards, everyone had left and my mother and I were with my stepdad and he started talking coherently. It was absolutely amazing. He said, “pretty soon I will be passing through to mother. It won’t be long now! It’s been a privilege to live to be this old and to know you.” He was so happy about the thought of passing through to his mother whom he had loved dearly. These brief sentences were a tremendous gift to all of us, just realizing that despite his dementia, he was aware of what was happening and felt such deep gratitude. He lived a few more weeks and then passed through to his mother at 94 years old.
As you go through this with your husband, I hope you will keep this in your heart: that despite the behaviors and limitations of Alzheimer’s, he has a deeper awareness and everything you do matters. Sending you much love and strength.
I felt drawn to post this for all the "stuck" people
Change Your Mind (Sister Hazel 2020)
....
Of all your tryin'
Just give up
The state of mind you're in
If you're tired of fighting battles with yourself
If you want to be somebody else
Change your mind
Have you ever danced in the rain
Or thanked the sun
Just for shining, just for shining
Or the sea?
Oh no, take it all in
The world's a show ...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSQxEgzWpkA
(FYI The guy who wrote this is an acquaintance and a beautiful person.)
hey @squirrel-gardens, glad you are here! Love your chosen name- it is impossible for me to read the words "squirrel gardens" without smiling
@unk-p and @squirrel-gardens, my yard is definitely a squirrel garden, especially when I fill the bird feeder.
I also hung two suet feeders this winter so I could feed the woodpeckers and other suet loving birds. Turns out squirrels like suet too.
First they climbed up on the pole and deftly opened the suet holder door, suet dropped to the ground and they squirreled it away.
So I wired the suet holder shut. That'll fix them... Nope. They unhooked the suet cage, from the pole, and the suet cage dropped to the ground, whereupon they dragged it away. But they couldn't get it through the fence where I found it empty the next day.
Next day they unhooked the other suet cage, and this time they figured out how to get past the fence and it disappeared forever into the woods. Okay, so, this time I wired the suet cage shut and wired the suet cage to the pole. This time the squirrels figured out how to hang upside down from their toes and eat away all the suet in the cage.
The other day I saw an obese squirrel in my backyard.
Then the grackles came and took over the squirrels. Unk-p, you said the grackles would leave by the end of April. Nope. They were able to empty a 20 pound pack of seed from the Old Yankee, grackle and squirrel proof feeder in a few days.
I have a new plan. Stay tuned.
@jeanne-mayell Unk-p, you said the grackles would leave by the end of April. Nope
? judging by the angle of the sun, it appears that we still have approximately 5 more days of "April". Just saying
I am loving these bird feeding, squirrel feeding and backyard havens for our feathered friends. What a bonus to read these posts as so many hate little fur bandits who steal birdseed. Pandemic lockdown the animals were such a comfort and joy to watch while the world stopped.
Squirrel Gardens was my website, facebook page and emails.....am a garden/wildlife habitat. We had to scale back the putsy gardens due to husband's care. We still have all the critters who come for meals and sometimes a baby animals is born here. Thank you all for just the warmth of this group.
@unk-p and @squirrel-gardens, my yard is definitely a squirrel garden, especially when I fill the bird feeder.
I also hung two suet feeders this winter so I could feed the woodpeckers and other suet loving birds. Turns out squirrels like suet too.
First they climbed up on the pole and deftly opened the suet holder door, suet dropped to the ground and they squirreled it away.
So I wired the suet holder shut. That'll fix them... Nope. They unhooked the suet cage, from the pole, and the suet cage dropped to the ground, whereupon they dragged it away. But they couldn't get it through the fence where I found it empty the next day.
Next day they unhooked the other suet cage, and this time they figured out how to get past the fence and it disappeared forever into the woods. Okay, so, this time I wired the suet cage shut and wired the suet cage to the pole. This time the squirrels figured out how to hang upside down from their toes and eat away all the suet in the cage.
The other day I saw an obese squirrel in my backyard.
Then the grackles came and took over the squirrels. Unk-p, you said the grackles would leave by the end of April. Nope. They were able to empty a 20 pound pack of seed from the Old Yankee, grackle and squirrel proof feeder in a few days.
I have a new plan. Stay tuned.
I was going to quote just a portion of this message, but it was soooo good I quoted the entire thing. haha. Jeanne, this is like a chaperons in a book. I can't wait to read more.
We have grackles here too and they can indeed overrun our yard. Over the last few days our yard has also seen 2 different owls, a bunny, doves, quail, and a nest filled with screechy babies of some sort of unidentified as yet bird. I saw a raven sitting on the cell tower at our church this morning and yesterday I saw geese parents with about 5 goslings swimming in a small manmade pond water feature by an apartment complex.
My husband was dive bombed and hit repeatedly on the head by a small sparrow like bird earlier this week. He swatted it away a few times and hit it once, knocking it to the ground where it barely escaped death from the jaws of my 49 pound dog who was protecting him ( maybe protecting or maybe simply playing and hoping for a tasty snack). My dog snatched up the bird in his mouth twice and then dropped it. The second time the bird was dropped, it was able to actually fly away to safety. Lucky bird. My dog has eaten them before.
Had you ever seen a dog poop bird feathers?? Have you ever had to pick partially protruding and stuck bird feathers out from your dog's rear end.
Yeah. It is exactly what you are imagining.
@squirrel-gardens I have been through the journey of Alzheimer's, my husband had early onset. If there is anything I can share / help you with while you take this journey I am there for you. I must have a hundred stories to share, but I shall leave you with this for now.. its over a lot sooner that you would like, so no matter how bad it gets, take a minute to love the moment you are in, its over way to soon and the silence can be deafening..
@squirrel-gardens if you would like to talk more feel free to e-mail me: [removed]
we can share stories. Maybe I can help just a little..
@deborah-carey If we left your email address up, you would be clobbered with email spam. I will send it to s-g.
I am no longer stuck, at least not as I was. Guidance and best practices , such as journaling, which I am very lazy and inconsistent on, and releasing anger and negativity, to find the compassion and acceptance underneath, has helped. Recently celebrated a happy anniversary and this helped me to see the before and after, which helps to separate emotions and retellings of injustices and woundings, that were robbing me of TIME. But , acknowledging also, that it was necessary to wait for that high water mark, and the forces around me to bend to a better thought around my psyche.
I feel also the shift has taken place. We are already kinder, gentler, but many have not realized and awakened. I got a sticker in the mail today that said Fight Hate. I thought about the weird aggressive juxtaposition of these words. Shouldn't it be , Transform Hate? I am realizing in my own little life, and in the larger life of the planet, all we need do is love. Send love. Even to those we feel that we hate , or did, or do still , from time to time. But that hate is just love that has been hurt.
I truly had reached a bottom and had to make a choice between holding on to that hurt love, and regret, or shoring it up with new love, that is connected to the source of love, that is the soul's natural state.
So in this moment I feel love, and I feel ready to love and willing to love and try.
I am grateful to feel myself moving forward again, and being able to begin to make plans for the future , which is always a hopeful practice, and made better with love.
I need some calming words. I've been giving away my sisters furniture since she moved. I told them not to touch the front room or the kitchen. I was feeling good that I was helping the poorer people get some good stuff. Well today I go over there, and they had taken my food out of the frig. That made me so mad. I told them they couldn't have anything else until I got my food back. I got it back, but I'm still mad. You something nice, and you get treated like dirt.
@elaineg You did a good thing, they took advantage--- the karma is on them. Take some deep breaths, ground yourself, and shrug it off. Even if you don't get your food back. There will always be people like that and their behavior is not your responsibility. Keep doing what you can.