I always believed Mia Farrow's allegations that Allen sexually abused their 6 year old and of course he never denied he had sex with Farrow's 21 year old daughter, although he insisted that she was in college at the time. (There's compelling evidence she was in high school).
When I heard about the HBO documentary series Allen v. Farrow my first thought was, what could I learn that I didn't already know?
It turned out to be a lot. It's not just about one powerful man and one child and the mother who that man nearly crushed.
You peer into that child's world at age six and afterwards and how that child experienced the abuse, the confusion, and the life long trauma.
About 20 years ago, I was beginning to give a reading of a middle aged woman. I closed my eyes and saw a child walking sideways down a street. Her whole body was horizontal, sideways, to the ground as she walked. I realized I was seeing her child self. I realized she did not live upright in her childhood. She could not be present in the way that children are naturally. She was sideways. I asked the woman what happened to her and she told me the story of sexual abuse by her father. Since that time, I've seen similar visions in people. If I'm seeing those visions at the beginning of a reading, then that child lives currently in that person.
In the Allen v Farrow series, Dylan Farrow tells her life long story, and there is a film her mother made of her account the day that it happened. It is revealing and powerful. So much of it I already knew, but so much more is revealed.
The other big takeaway from that documentary, although there were many other takeaways, was how the media works when you are powerful and have a top publicist representing you. What the media prints is less about the truth than the result of transactions between a powerful publicist and the media outlets. As Farrow's younger son, journalist Ronan Farrow, wrote when Hollywood continued to celebrate Woody Allen, even after credible information about his pedophilia surfaced:
From The Washington Post: "Numerous actors, from Keaton to Alec Baldwin, still supported Allen, either verbally or by acting in his projects. Ronan says Allen’s former publicist, Leslee Dart, sent mass emails to press that promoted 'a culture of transactional access journalism, where powerful PR people trade stories and plant stories and put into the public consciousness whatever their clients want.'” --Ronan Farrow Ronan Farrow was instrumental in covering Harvey Weinstein.
The HBO docu-series is worth watching, although it is disturbing.
I agree. What has happened to those kids is horrid. I'm not only talking about the sexual abuse, but everything they'd been put through. A schism was also caused in the family between those kids, Mia has been accused (by Allen's wife) of abusing her kids by locking them up etc.
How can anyone *not* believe Mia Farrow? Allen married his stepdaughter for crying out loud! In what world is that acceptable?
Hi Everyone. This post struck a chord with me, for so many reasons. This past week as I was having yet another anxiety attack that no amount of therapy or medication seems to cure, I had a vision of myself as a child.
In that vision I was crouching in a dark corner around age five or six, so afraid that I couldn't breathe, as I felt that moment in time I realized that something broke inside me then and nothing I have done since has been able to repair it. That broken part it never stops, goes away or gives relief.
The grief experienced in that moment is the absolute knowledge that one is not loved, not cared for, not safe and most importantly not believed, it makes a person feel that they shouldn't even exist because no one seems to want them to.
Later in life no one in my family believed me when I claimed that I had been abused, to this day they pretend that I'm exaggerating, I know I'm not, if anything I'm understating. Long ago I learned that people can never be trusted, I learned when I realized that my own family would prefer to live in a polite fiction, covering up the misdeeds of it's members rather than face an uncomfortable truth. I was worth less than my abusers so their narrative won out, they had the right to set the record and my voice was ignored or denied.
I see this in every family I've ever been close to, whether it's my mother in law's alcoholism that her son's pretend doesn't exist, or the blatant misogyny of an uncle who because he is wealthy is worshipped, I see it everywhere.
Until we collectively refuse to cover up the crimes we see, refuse to play nice, to go along to get along, things won't get better.
I've seen the screaming rage of victims come to the surface these last few years, refusing to take the bs any longer, and at the same time I still see others bullying them and refusing to believe their stories.
I believe Dylan Farrow, I believe her because I can see the pain in her eyes, she needs to be heard and believed, because she is not lying.
If I'm just being objective I can say that there is something strange about Woody Allen, even without these allegations. His tendency to make movies that romanticize relationships between middle aged men and barely legal women is creepy, it's also creepy that famous and talented actors agree to play these roles, what does that say about them? His marriage to his former step daughter several decades younger than himself is also creepy, and yet for decades this pattern of interest in very young girls has mostly been ignored by Hollywood, what does that say about them?
@natalie I always saw something sketchy in Woody Allen-- never felt comfortable with his work even before all this came out years ago. ☹️ (e.g., the 1973 film "Sleeper" which was supposed to be so hilarious but I never liked it-- he's creepy.) (I'm not much at predicting the future, but I have very good "people radar". )
You are courageous and resilient for sharing your pain. You are not alone. There are so many abused kids, me as well. My mother swept it all under the rug. People don't want to believe that people they trust, people with power do terrible things to children.
I sure hope the current spotlight on abuse of all kinds will soon result in protection for innocents. And I feel medical advancements in the future will be able to screen for an "abuse gene" or tendency, and tweak it even before abuses are committed. May it come in our lifetime!
We care about you Natalie, broken, hurt, afraid, magnificent you ❤️
Now look at the people
In the streets, in the bars
We are all of us in the gutter
But some of us are looking at the stars
Look round the room
Life is unkind
We fall but we keep gettin' up
Over and over and over
-The Pretenders
An interesting NY Times article about this very topic which came out on 3/8/21 is listed below. What is so striking is that so many of the intelligencia and Actors/Theater World made a concerted effort to "normalize" Woody, his relationship with Soon-Yi and disregarded/looked away from the accusations made by Dylan & Mia. Why? Was he considered to be all powerful? The epitome of "cool"? Did they want to keep in his good graces so they might appear in one of his future projects? Supposedly Mia Farrow found out about Woody & Soon Yi's affair when she entered his apartment and found a nude photo of Soon Yi sitting on his fireplace. What a tremendous shock that must have been as a mother who had been romantically involved with him for years...
There is also some theorizing that, by continually casting himself (a middle-aged, shleppy, exceedingly unappealing man) as the romantic lead in many of his films who somehow manages to attract beautiful barely-legal young girls-- that he was, in effect, subconsciously or not, "grooming" the public to accept his depraved, self-indulgent behavior and hold him blameless. Further, while his abuse of Dylan is appalling (and I do believe Mia and Dylan), his overt sexualization of a young adopted step daughter was particularly cruel: Surrounded by many siblings and probably anxious to gain some special attention & status and very likely having some major issues as a result of her adoption, his deliberate targeting of HER was especially depraved and cruel -in it's abuse of a vulnerable young girl capitalizing upon her vulnerabilities and as a vicious "stick it to you" action to Mia.
This all makes me think of the pedophilac literary culture in Paris where the sexualization of young men and women is virtually totally accepted by an all powerful literary group...Please see below.
I ran into Woody & Soon Yi about 5 years ago near the Met Museum. I was with a friend and they walked right past us. They looked nothing so much as an elderly grandfather taking a walk with his young granddaughter on a sunny weekend afternoon. I have not seen one of his films since the whole Soon Yi scandal. Thank goodness Ronan (who is so eloquent) has become their spokesperson.
Why My Teenage Self Gave Woody Allen a Pass - The New York Times (nytimes.com)
Not sure what it is, but when I'm with certain men who are attracted to young girls (in my past) I've always seen something in their eyes, where they made me feel uncomfortable. Whether it was a family friend of my father, etc. I knew (when I was young) that certain men made me feel uncomfortable. That sense of mine proved to be correct on one than more occasion, and I was lucky to escape harm by any of them. (I was kidnapped at 14 but escaped before the man could do anything to me).?
On a more lighthearted note, I worked with Mia's other son Fletcher for years, very hard working and successful executive. I also ran into Mia a couple times at a local restaurant. She was having dinner and started chatting with us when we were there. She couldn't be nicer, very warm and down to earth. She was complimenting the restaurant's Eucalyptus Christmas tree I had crafted and wanted to know how I made it. (She was also having dinner with Henry Kissinger and invited us to sit with them!) ?
Your experience at 14 must have been harrowing. So thankful you got to safety.
Glad to know you had positive experiences with the Farrow family.
I suspect you and I both have very good "people radar" and if you picked up on something disreputable in certain men, I have no doubt that you were right. Love your eucalytus tree story... and one day you must share with us your kidnapping story if you want to. Thank goodness you were OK!! ?
I always thought Mia was a kind-hearted woman whose intentions were good ... meantime, while there certainly are good men out there, I've made it a point years ago for my daughter to learn about "Stranger Danger" and gave her plenty of martial arts lessons later on.... all criminal activity is awful but exploiting the young and vulnerable, whether psychologically and/or sexually, seems especially insideous to me... May karma catch up with him!
@triciact Dear sweet Triciact, I am so glad you escaped back then. So interesting that you got to know the Farrows. I too have always felt her warmth and humanity. And you are the same - talented, and yet warm and down to earth.
Oh *Blush* ? thank you so much Jeanne for that. I actually felt your warmth in my chest and got goosebumps. I appreciate you so much ❤️. Last night's meditation was so beautiful and sweet. I felt so happy afterwards.
It was such a surreal moment meeting Mia because when she said to sit down I kept thinking to myself "why do I hear Henry Kissinger's voice?", then when she moved out of the way I realized the elderly man WAS Henry Kissinger. Perhaps because he's a piece of "history" to me I was at first a bit start struck. I chuckled to myself what an unusual group we were sitting there. My sister in law and her hubby didn't realize who he was at first and said when they left, "that older gentleman looks familiar"! I finally let them know who it was. The other funny thing was that I made the Eucalyptus tree for the restaurant/Inn almost 20 years ago, so it was a bit tattered and I couldn't believe she liked it so much. The Inn keeps taking it out every Christmas. I was going to deliver them a new one when covid hit, but intend on giving them another soon. ? ....It was a funny moment.
When I was 14 we lived on a main road, the stores and gas station was only a few doors away from where the houses began. I really hated living on that main road and to be honest that house was haunted too.... anyway, my father was 100% Italian, and he and his friends would play "Tressette" cards every weekend and alternate homes. I bring that up because one day I was walking to the bus stop to get to high school, which was about 3/4 mile up toward town in front of the old grade school. A man about 40-45 yrs old stopped his car only about 50 feet away from my home and pulled down his window. He called me by name and I told him to go away because I didn't speak to strangers. He said his name was Sal and that he was surprised that I didn't recognize him because he played cards with my dad, in our home (in the basement), and named all the players names I did know. I felt bad, so I came closer to his car. He got me into his car, then drove off. He then admitted he had stalked me for months, asked around about me and my family, admired my very long wavy hair and then told me horrible things he was going to do to me. I was so scared. When he started to go left in a sharp turn (he had to slow down) I opened the door and jumped out into the road. I was bleeding and burned, my jeans were torn but I couldn't feel a thing. I ran to the bus stop and got on my school bus in shock. When I got to school I had them call my mother. Why I didn't run home, I don't know. I was actually thinking how I couldn't miss the bus and be late for school. Crazy but that's what my 14 yr old brain was thinking.
The experience left me scared to walk down the street for a while. Though I had to anyway. Every time a man pulled up next to me I freaked out. Back then there were a lot of men making comments from their car or just guys who were my age doing so too. I was scared but even more so angry. I have never had a daughter of my own, but If I did I would have probably been so over protective. Stranger danger was even more reinforced by the generations after mine. ☮?
Tricia, you were so brave and smart. Hard to imagine a person going to such lengths to entice you into their car. But he didn't count on your strength or quick thinking brain. The school bus ended up being a very safe place and you actually went to school officials which was wonderful and brave.
I hope you got the care you needed afterwards.
I hope they found him.
Thank you both for your kind words, I appreciate you both so much. I never considered myself brave at all but I guess when we are faced with something and you know it's "fly or die" reacting quickly and correctly surprises us all in the moment.
They never did find the man (or at least never told us they did).
@triciact I'm very glad your instincts (or angels) kicked in and made you do what you did. I had an incident happen to me years ago (a man grabbed me from behind in the entry hall of my apartment building) and it was weird how I was totally terrified, but at the same time I automaticallly said and did exactly the right things to make him run off. In the long term having that experience actually made me feel empowered.
@triciact I'm a bit late to respond, but my goodness what an ordeal:s It makes me want to hug my daughter and hold tight.
I cannot express how amazed I am at your 14 year old self's quick thinking and response. Happy that you're with us, sister. ❤️
Ana, I'm so glad you were also successful in thwarting that man!
@lovendures - thank you so much my friend
@moonbeam, thank you too dear one - and yes hug your daughter and we all need to make sure our young loved ones know they can fight back, but more importantly, that they need the skills to know how to avoid these situations.
All: It's such a shame we have to teach our kids about stranger danger but at the same time, not instilling fear. Such a balance.