The fact that I have time to practice my put-downs gives you an idea of how often I hear the insults in the first place. But afterwards, I rarely hear them again.
@allyn I love how you are constructively channeling your anger. After reading your earlier posts, I was going to reply that I am frequently tongue-tied in the face of ugly confrontation but I’m glad to read that you too need to practice your retorts. So there’s hope for people like me yet!
NLP (neuro linguistics programming) suggests that people in the main have three learning and communicating styles - auditory, visual and kinesthetic. Seems to me bullies are auditory (using cutting words) with a blend of kinesthetic (pushing, punching etc). If the target of their bullying doesn't reply, they feel they are not getting through, they are being ignored and that increases their ire. So they get more vicious with their verbal assaults. With your superb put-downs, you are engaging and mirroring back to the bullies in terms they hear and understand and they back down.
I am no expert, just a dabbler in NLP, and I still prefer to side-step confrontation. But you’ve reminded me it’s good and healthy to, when needed, let out our inner warrior goddesses - Sekmet or Kali (who are simultaneously warrior goddesses and goddesses of healing).
There was an interesting quote in the today’s newsletter by Heather Cox Richardson (Letters From an American) that I think will resonate with those of us who have seen an end to T’s power:
“Two people today, one a journalist and one a classics professor, independently noted to me that Trump’s recent attack on Obama completes a classic story arc. Trump’s political career began with conspiracy-theory attacks on Obama. Trump’s “birtherism” theory was that Obama was born not in America but in Africa, and thus was ineligible to be president. After four years of promises to his base that have ended up in chaos, now characterized by death and unemployment, Trump has returned to where he began, with a conspiracy-theory attack on Obama. In literature, that narrative arc—the return to the beginning—means the story is nearing its end.”
Here is the link to the whole newsletter if anyone wants to read it: https://heathercoxrichardson.substack.com/p/may-14-2020
@allyn Thank you so much. I was a researcher before retirement, so I will edit carefully to remove any blatantly identifying remarks. In other words, I often had to edit the words of people contributing to my research to make sure they remained anonymous. Thanks again, Sharon
In literature, that narrative arc—the return to the beginning—means the story is nearing its end.”
@baba Thank you for posting that - I’ll take any assurance I can get. And to me, T’s latest attempts to sow more chaos reek of desperation and futility. Btw, I had meant to say I really appreciated who you saw and the peaceful vibes you felt your latest visioning of the White House. His story is fast speeding towards its end!
I thought of the possibility that simply ignoring conservative judges could engender the same behavior towards liberal judges. I'm just trying to point out that our institutions aren't as immovable as they seem. They respond to collective will, and if a critical mass of Americans wants to move in a direction opposite the courts, then something somewhere will give. As I've said before on this forum, we are now in phase shift territory, where ideas that were once unthinkable can become commonplace seemingly overnight. Also, as society reorganizes itself, solutions for problems that once seemed intractable may take on an emergent quality; they will suddenly spring into being where there used to be only uncertainty.
All of this is why I'm not disheartened by the fact that it would take a constitutional amendment to assign term limits to judges. Because social change will be happening at exponential speeds for the next few decades, ratifying constitutional amendments may just become a matter of course. We all know various aspects of the Constitution need to be reworked. I like the astrological perspective @gbs gives to this discussion of reform.
It seems that Richard Burr submitted the last volume of the Senate Intelligence Report on Trump and Russia for declassification before giving up his chairmanship. It is a big news day and it did give me a smile that he did this before stepping down.
@baba I love her posts! I start my morning everyday by reading her daily synopsis. I have found myself feeling incredibly unsettled all week. Although I know that this is all divine intervention, the thought that things will worsen before they get better to enlighten more people (i.e. part of the unraveling) is gut wrenching on many levels - because I just want it to stop. As a scientist myself, I truly cringe that science itself has become partisan - it's sad when someone can't do their work for the betterment of all people. That being said, I was so happy to see that Burr went ahead and submitted his final report - let's see what we *actually* get to see from it all but I am grateful that he finished up his piece.
As a final aside, I read an interesting thread on twitter today (check out Uncle Blazer) about how Trump and his mafia boss mentality keeps all Repubs in line (based on potential blackmail information he has on every one of them, their families, etc.) - this will only get better once they are ALL exposed and out of office.
I read your post on bullying twice yesterday and found myself still thinking about it today. It's just so true that you need to stand up to bullies. Once you do, the bully is unlikely to bother you again.
Confrontation is something that didn't come naturally to me and I was in my forties before I learned that confrontation could be such a useful tool in my tool box. My first confrontation was at work with a colleague who was undermining my work and making it difficult to do my job. This colleague was someone intimidating and feared in the office, but I just decided it was time to clear the air, which I did in a calm, decisive way. I explained how she was undermining my work and that I needed her to stop. She was stunned, but she stopped and we had a cordial working relationship from then on.
Everyone needs to stand up for themselves and not hang around waiting for a white knight to come along and rescue them. There's no one coming to rescue you but yourself, so you might as well step up. I'm the confrontation queen in my family now. If my mother needed something straightened out with a contractor, insurance company or health agency, she always asked me to do it. My sister has asked me to deal with difficult situations for her, too. Even my husband likes me to take on necessary confrontations with difficult people. Now it's my jam.
However, political bullying is such a MAGA/Trumpist trademark now, isn't it? When I lived in the Southeast, I saw a lot of that and now that I'm in the Northwest, I don't see it at all. My Democrat friends in the South talk about this type of aggressive, in your face political bullying all the time now. They say it's gotten even worse with the advent of this pandemic. I'm going to pass on your comments to them.
By the way, I'm so impressed that you had the courage to stand up for yourself as a child and that now you're an attorney, right? Good for you.
This came in under the wire, but still May 15 ... and has the potential to get interesting:
https://www.politico.com/news/2020/05/15/state-department-inspector-general-fired-261536
I was bullied too. At home for decades, at school grades 4-8. I think a lot of us here were, and the silver lining is it helped us develop our superpowers. Adults who should have been the ones to help were part of the problem in my case, including teachers, counselors, and family members.
@Bluebelle is right. Anyone who is bullied needs to standup for themselves. Even though I always ended up getting in trouble when I did, I never regretted doing so.
I lived in the South from 2001-2014. We also fled West, to more progressive pastures. While I was never strongly bullied, I did find myself being ostracized and mistreated, at work and other venues, for: 1) Being a left leaning independent voter; 2) Not being a Christian; 3) Not being white enough; 4) Being originally from the Northeast. I can only imagine what it would be like to live there now, but I suspect it's for the best that I don't, because when I truly get bullied, I am capable of reacting violently*. I'd be in jail...
*Now that I think of it, the only time I ever really got bullies to back down permanently involved physical confrontation every time.
@jeanne-mayell - I agree that anger channeled appropriately can move mountains. It reminds me of another passage in a Seth book by Jane Roberts. Anger is a way of saying you have transgressed (something like that, don't quote me :))
I also agree that every single post on this site (no matter which way we are looking at a situation) is an expression in that moment for that person and will resonate with someone, in that moment. Sometimes for me I need a reminder to let go of my anger and fear and other times I need to be able to express it and use it....
I appreciate all the posts here.
Yes! Right on.
I can relate so much to your story. As someone who was bullied, and eventually got to the point where a bully ran from me crying without me laying a hand on him, I agree. I too do not want or condone violence. But sometimes enough is enough.
We are at our enough. We can no longer afford to be nice.
I want to write so much more of a response, but it is quite late here and I am sleepy. I will just say for now that I was at the impeachment hearings (the investigations back in November). I promise you that if one or many of us had stood up and started calling BS to the surreal, what planet are you on anyway, stuff the repubs were saying it would have made a difference. We need to interrupt their pattern and call them out. We need to shock them.
That doesn't take violence. In fact, them seeing us as weak is an advantage. It makes it so much easier to surprise them because they underestimate us and don't see it coming.
We need to galvanize and disarm them with our words and strength. It is time.
Our love needs to be greater than our fear of being disliked. In this case, our love needs to be for Freedom and Justice.
All of this is why I'm not disheartened by the fact that it would take a constitutional amendment to assign term limits to judges. Because social change will be happening at exponential speeds for the next few decades, ratifying constitutional amendments may just become a matter of course. We all know various aspects of the Constitution need to be reworked. I like the astrological perspective @gbs gives to this discussion of reform.
As I said in my reply, we are only able to undo those problems in the manner that you suggested under the current system *as it stands now*, and my reply was written with that in mind. As you said above, though, I am not at all disheartened by the amendment process, either. I agree that there are a few "updates" that are needed in the Constitution; I just don't think it's going to happen as soon as it could, and perhaps that's a good thing. Many times decisions like that which are made in haste require reversals or changes later when we run into unintended consequences,so perhaps the slower approach of the amendment process is a good one. I would personally like to see an amendment that permanently reverses the Citizens United case with no recourse for reviving it. In that case, I would be leery of defining what a person *is* (that would likely open several cans of worms), but I would definitely like to see a good definition of what a person *isn't*, i.e., an artificial entity created by statutes and supporting regulations. I am of the firm belief that this one thing would eliminate a lot of the issues with campaign finance reform and getting money out of politics because those things would suddenly become eligible for legislative regulation without fear of them being struck down.
Those daily briefings by Heather Cox Richardson are great! Your prediction about the 15th has me wondering what further significance might come from the number of events she wrote about last night, perhaps this one?:
Tonight's news dump was Trump giving notice that he intends to fire yet another inspector general, this one from the State Department. Trump wants to replace Steve Linick, a career official from the Justice Department appointed to his position by President Barack Obama in 2013, with an ally of Vice President Mike Pence. Trump says he no longer has the “fullest confidence” in Linick. Trump plans to replace Linick with Stephen Akard, who was chief of staff for the Indiana Economic Development Corporation when Pence was Indiana governor.
Linick had issued a number of reports lately about Trump appointees retaliating against career employees. Even more important to Trump, perhaps, is that at the State Department, Linick oversaw Trump’s loyal Secretary of State, Mike Pompeo. Tonight, after news broke of Linick’s firing, Representative Eliot Engel (D-NY), who chairs the House Foreign Affairs Committee, tweeted on an official account that Linick had just opened an investigation into Pompeo. MSNBC reporter Chris Hayes noted that “Engel is an extremely cautious politician. For him to put this out is mind-blowing.”
Connecticut Senator Chris Murphy tweeted: “Using foreign aid to destroy rivals. Weaponizing the judiciary. Firing all the inspectors general. Democracies begin to die when a leader starts to destroy the limits on his power, and his faction decides that he is more important than the republic. Welcome to that moment.”
https://www.facebook.com/heathercoxrichardson/posts/2276155012528552?__tn__=K-R
T & admin are clearly testing to see how much they can get away with! Let's all visualize the justice card (like the "you get a tower card and you get a tower card post that I think was by @Lovendures)--they all must be held accountable to the law as part of saving our democracy! (Sadly, only part, since preserving voting rights is also essential, as is the SCOTUS decision about the rights of electoral college members to vote against the popular vote of their state.)
I live in North Carolina, so Burr is one of our senators--not a fan even before the despicable insider trading. But my understanding is that he planned to retire after this term anyway. Wouldn't it be something if he turned against T. in favor of upholding democracy and the rule of law? If he had the shred of decency to think well, my career is over and I may be going down, but I can do something right and take a moral stand to protect my country? If not Burr, then SCOTUS or someone needs to hold the line against tyranny. This does feel like a tipping point. I still feel the sense that T & Co's bloated balloon of power is about to start deflating.
@baba, thanks for the link about Burr.
I loved Obama's response to yesterday's diatribe of the inane and insulting tweets about him by the Mad King: "VOTE."
Speaking of our former President: Tonight at 8pm, Obama will deliver a televised prime-time commencement address for the Class of 2020 during an hour-long special event honoring all graduating high school seniors. ABC, CBS, Fox and NBC will simultaneously air the special, along with more than 20 other broadcast and digital streaming partners.
posted by @kateinpdx:
I promise you that if one or many of us had stood up and started calling BS to the surreal, what planet are you on anyway, stuff the repubs were saying it would have made a difference. We need to interrupt their pattern and call them out. We need to shock them.
I have felt that as well. I'm not sure whether it's part laziness or just a fearful resignation that it's too big to take on, so why even try? We the people have yet to fully recognize how powerful we really are. Ever since the topic of bullying was addressed a few days ago, I began thinking about people's perceived lack of personal power and how it's often connected to any wounds that remain unhealed. That certainly is playing out on our grand national stage. Perhaps we need an MLK-type figure to remind us who we really are, and to galvanize us into action. But right now we still seem too scattered, and this pandemic isn't helping.
Bottom line: these a-holes work for US. And the Ds are too damn nice.
How is it possible for Trump to have not contracted Covid 19 by now? He flouts all safety precautions and insists on setting the worst possible example.
I am feeling that the Abbot tests are wrong and he is a carrier. It may be wishful thinking on my part.
Can anyone sense if this is true? Maybe throw a tarot card or two?