I agree with you that the rebel flag needs to be retired. People who wave it do so because (1) they know it offends people, and they have that "I'm against the establishment" mentality, and/or (2) they are racist and aren't afraid to say it. Even for people who have heritage in the Civil War cringe at the use of the rebel flag because it has been used so long by hate groups that it has become a racist symbol.
That being said, I have a situation that I would like your imput on.
First, please know that my family has lived in the surrounding area for a long time. I have relatives who fought for both sides in the Civil War (ironically, one side who did not own slaves fought for the South, while another relative who kept slaves fought for the North. Another relative seems to have fought for both sides at different times. I guess he couldn't make up his mind?) We have Civil War Cemeteries, and people will use small flags to decorate a relative's grave (The American Flag if you were Union, the rebel flag if you were Rebel).
I bring this up because, as a descendant of Civil War veterans, I also place those flags on the graves of my ancestors on Memorial Day. Unlike the majority of people, I place both (mostly because of that relative who fought for both sides and I don't want to have to explain that, but also to show that the two sides came back together after the war.)
I was actually asked by several people why I insist on putting both flags, with comments like "don't you think your Southern relative would hate having the flag of the army that killed him over his grave?" or" how can you put a rebel flag with the American flag over your Union relative?" I told them that I do it to honor both sides of my admittedly imperfect family. Not because I agree with them, but because I want to put the flags of both sides on their graves to both acknowledge the side they fought on and to (hopefully) symbolize that my relatives became equal in death, and that the joining of the flags was symbolic of the reunification of the country after the war. Personally, my ancestors probably care less about what flag I put on their grave during Memorial Day (at least, I hope so).
But in all other instances, I feel that the rebel flag does not need to be used or displayed in any form or fashion, especially by the government.
And yes, I am against Civil War statutes and the use of the rebel flag in state flags or monuments. To have those around for people of African American heritage is akin to having a battered woman seeing a statute of her assailant every day.
I hate racists with a passion, because I believe that their desire to hate anyone because of the color of their skin and/or their country of origin is an affront to God. God created everyone, and by saying you hate someone because of something they were born with is basically insulting God's creation. But now I am torn. Do you or anyone else view the act of putting a rebel flag on the grave of a relative who died in the civil war racist?
But now, I wonder. Do you view this act of honoring graves as racist? Am I being a hypocrite because my actions might be viewed as though I am promoting the return of the South (and with it, slavery)? Your thoughts would be appreciated.
Hmmm... that's a tough one.
Any act of honoring ancestors at their graves with little flags is not inherently racist because your intentions are not.
Yes, your family has a complicated history on both sides of the Civil War. There was a lot of changing back and forth - the town I used to live in in VA switched hands FOUR times during the war, and both sides used the courthouse lawn (where that damn statue still is) to execute "deserters". Lots of fine people on both sides I guess you could say...
BUT
In the interests of moving forward, but respectfully, is there any other way you and your family can come up with to honor those ancestors? Maybe NO flags at all? Perhaps red white and blue ribbons or flowers? Or slips of parchment with poems written during the war (from both sides)? Or maybe even just little stars of some kind - maybe wooden? Jewish people have the tradition of leaving a small stone on a grave or headstone every time they visit, as a sign of remembrance and respect, and also, to some extent, as a reminder of the impermanence of life itself. Maybe small stones with something painted on them? How about something with a peace sign on it? Let the ancestors know that the goal remains peace.
You seem to understand the issue, if any family members don't I'd suggest asking them to reflect on how black visitors to the cemeteries feel when they see a bunch of rebel flags sticking up out of the graves. I imagine they feel the oppression is endless, even beyond the grave.
@dhyanaji
Yes and this from the Washington Post article:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2020/06/11/trump-seattle-autonomous-zone-inslee/
"...Instead of “protesters,” President Trump suggested another term for the demonstrators late Wednesday: “Domestic Terrorists.” Trump blasted Seattle Mayor Jenny Durkan (D) and Washington state Gov. Jay Inslee (D) on Twitter, threatening federal action if local leaders don’t “take back” the city.
“Radical Left Governor @JayInslee and the Mayor of Seattle are being taunted and played at a level that our great Country has never seen before,” Trump tweeted. “Take back your city NOW. If you don’t do it, I will. This is not a game. These ugly Anarchists must be stooped IMMEDIATELY. MOVE FAST!”
Both Durkan and Inslee swiftly hit back at Trump.
“A man who is totally incapable of governing should stay out of Washington state’s business. ‘Stoop’ tweeting,” Inslee wrote on Twitter, mocking Trump for the misspelling in his tweet.
Inslee later said that although the zone was unauthorized and that the country still faces a pandemic, the area was mostly calm and he hoped for a peaceful resolution.
“What we will not allow are threats of military violence against Washingtonians coming from the White House,” he wrote. “The U.S. military serves to protect Americans, not the fragility of an insecure president.”...
Durkan wrote: “Make us all safe. Go back to your bunker,” referring to when Trump was rushed to a safe room in the White House last month during protests over the May 25 death of George Floyd at the hands of Minneapolis police.
Trump also took a swipe at former vice president Joe Biden on Thursday morning, taunting that he “refuses to leave his basement ‘sanctuary’ and tell his Radical Left BOSSES that they are heading in the wrong direction. Tell them to get out of Seattle now."
Biden’s presidential campaign did not respond to a request for comment on the remark."...
Jeanne's visions have all been coming true, however I myself hold out hope that he will be stopped at some point before our democracy falls and before we end up with him or another GOPer this coming election.?
@allyn Your intention seems clear. Two things predominate: historical accuracy and the feelings of others. Truthfully, looking at it from the perspective you laid out, I'm not sure what I would do so what follows are just ideas for thought. 1. What about talking with local black historians and local black leaders to get their viewpoint. 2. However, if you decide to resolve it yourself, you might consider getting a plaque that explains the facts and your reasoning for what you are doing because your family's history is your family's history and acknowledging that seems important. (Cemetery regs may be involved.) 3. Another possibility might be to use the American flag only for public consumption, but create a family book for members of your family that explains this complicated history. 4. Write a newspaper article--you certainly have the writing skills to accomplish that--describing this as a journey which includes your family history and the dilemma--because your post reveals compassion. 5. Definitely creating something for the family would be terrific. (Of course, I say that because that's one of my favorite things to do.) Finally, I hope you will share your journey and your thinking with us and your final decision. I hope this helps a little bit.
@allyn My brother-in-law is an award winning historian. I'd be glad to share your post with him in order to get his thoughts. He's not black though so I don't know how far that would get you. However, one of his scholarship areas was regarding N.C. ante-bellum politics.
I just read on Twitter that in order to attend the orange ones HUGELY rally one must promise not to sue him if you contact the corona virus. Good luck with that.
@dhyanaji I have no doubt that there's a plan in place,and I also have no doubt that he will one way or another leave the White House - if he loses. What about if voter suppression causes him to win? I want to know what the Democrats and the states are doing about this. Georgia apparently, according to what I read, worked perfectly along the lines of voter suppression.
@dhyanaji, I just saw that same interview on MSNBC. Tony Schwartz is on there frequently. He's very insightful. He was hired to ghostwrite the book, although T. claims to have written it himself. Schwartz was credited as co-author. When Schwartz was first featured on MSNBC, which I think was when T was still a candidate, he expressed deep remorse that he presented Trump in a way that brought him broader attention and made him more appealing and successful than he is. Schwartz understood who T was, but he never believed T. would get this far. Schwartz pledged all royalties from sales of the book to charities focusing on immigration and criminal justice reform, but he said that he can't right the wrong of his involvement, and will carry this until the end of his life.