[Closed] Prayers and/or Energetic Healing Needed Part 3

Lots of people to continue to send light and love to.  If you have a little more to spare for me and my liver journey, tomorrow I'm headed to the transplant center for an ultrasound.  This is really the final test and makes my "I'm carrying K's liver baby to term for him." metaphor a little funnier.  Essentially they want to be as sure as they can be that my own liver is healthy enough to give to him and at that point if I'm good to go we're really just waiting on the weight loss.  Positive vibes welcomed.

And on the weight loss front, when I walked out of school last year on June 8th I was nearing a weight I swore I'd never get to again.  From that date I'm down 50 pounds.  When I was at the transplant center last mid-August they told me I needed to lose 50 from there.  I'm now halfway through that goal (SO 50 pounds since June, 20 since mid-August when they told me to lose about 50.  This is confusing but yes, I'm halfway there which would put my total weight loss since June 8 at 75 pounds when I make it to the transplant center's goal!)

I have gotten there through a combination of Keto, daily exercise (weights, HIIT, walking, biking, dancing and sometimes multiple of the above!) and the Feast/Fast philosophy.  Very few carbs touch my lips these days (though I have a wedding this weekend and will partake) but I will spend part of each week "feasting" which for this purpose essentially means filling up on low carb foods like cheese, lean meats, nuts, salads, etc. and then some days which are lighter, which always culminates with a fast at the end of each work week.  Sometimes it's just a 24 hour, sometimes it's a 48 hour, and once a month I try to do a 72 hour because of the research on autophagy and what happens to the body during an intentional long fast.  It's really, really working keeping my body consistent (with the Keto) but always guessing (with the feast/fast approach.). Hoping I can keep this going during the upcoming holiday eating season that starts in November :P.

Anyway - vibes as you can spare them - definitely for tomorrow but occasionally on the weight loss piece too.  I'm hopeful to be there by February (I'm giving myself grace for teh holidays) with a "fingers crossed" liver donation to K date of mid April.

Light and love friends!

@dannyboy All good things to you as you continue this journey! And way to go on the disciplined approach with the feast/fast and exercise. You are awesome! I am back to just the 16 hour fasting and making sure I don't eat too late in the evening. It is remarkable how the body adjusts once you get past the first week or so and things start shifting. I hope that your ultrasound shows a healthy "baby" and that things can proceed as planned. Sending lots of light and forward momentum to you!

@pat-czap I am so very sorry for the loss of your husband. Your description of weird so aptly describes that strange limbo when someone passes and it hasn't sunk in yet. I pray for peace, calm, and clarity as things shift with this transition. May you see/sense those wonderful little signs, that often come when you least expect it, showing you that your connection remains. Love to you.

@pat-czap, I am very sorry to hear of the passing of your husband.  May angels surround you with their amazing grace, comforting and healing your heart.   I am holding you in my prayers.

@dannyboy You are doing a hero's work here, With so much positive energy in trying to get your body ready for a selfless act of compassion.

@pat-czap I missed your post originally (I hate the end of a page), and in seeing your follow up, I want to add a noticing I had from when I lost my father.

The week someone passes you're busy - you're moving in a haze from thing to thing getting plans ready for the memorial, burial, etc. and it's a good busy because you're working on something - putting steps forward in an attempt to stay moving.

I felt like we were going to be okay by the day the funeral arrived.

Not so.  

The day after services the phone calls start to drop off, the visits with casseroles taper off and My mother, my brother, and I all found ourselves separately dealing with an unsettling silence.  That's where you'll find yourself thinking deeply and really coming to terms with things.  

Lean on friends.  

Go out for a vulnerable cup of coffee by yourself somewhere and just reflect.  

Write something either for yourself or for others to see.  

While it's silly, the book P.S. I Love You was a model for me after my father passed because while I didn't get a handwritten letter from him once a month for a year following his death, the overall message was to keep putting a foot in front of the others while ALSO dealing with the silence and the pain.  It's a good lesson, and I've already started preparing letters for my wife for after the liver surgery just in case.  

Feel the silence when it comes.  

Acknowledge it.  

Invite it in.  

Treat it like an old acquaintance, show it hospitality, and then tell it it's welcome to stay as long as it would like but you're going out for coffee.  You're going to sit by a lake and think.  You're going to dinner with a friend.  

For as long as you keep putting one step in front of another, Greg will take those steps with you from the spirit world.  Listen closely enough, and you'll hear and feel him!

Light and love my friend.  I'm sending you both.

@dannyboy, You've been in my prayers and I've been wondering how things are going.  Congratulations on working towards getting your body in shape for this journey you're undertaking.   Your commitment is remarkable -- as the saying goes, you are truly "walking the walk."  May your angels and guides always be by your side, ready to help with the heavy lifting.  

You'll be in my thoughts and prayers tomorrow.  Lots of love to you.  

@tgraf66, how are you feeling today?  Have the muscle spasms lessened any?  I'm praying that your pain and discomfort subsides as you work towards finding a successful resolution.   

 I'm glad you'll be seeing a spine specialist on Monday.  Please let us know how it goes.  

@dannyboy What a wonderful message.  Lots of powerful points to ponder.  The notes you are preparing for your wife...priceless. I've seen this in a Hallmark movie 🙂.  I do feel like they will not be needed at that particular time of your lives. You still have much to do.

Thank you to all for the kinds words, they are much appreciated.

Posted by @dannyboy:

Feel the silence when it comes.  

Acknowledge it.  

Invite it in.  

Treat it like an old acquaintance, show it hospitality, and then tell it it's welcome to stay as long as it would like but you're going out for coffee.  You're going to sit by a lake and think.  You're going to dinner with a friend.  

I love this, @dannyboy.  I've been grieving lately, and I really needed to hear it.  Thank you. ❤️  

Dear @pafc, I am so sorry for your loss. You are wise to realize that it hasn't sunk in yet and that you will need extra support when that happens. Sending you angels to protect you, help you through the many stages of grief, provide strength to your body and mind and your spirit during this long process.  Know that you just have to endure this process and you will become stronger and wiser.  Your world will widen, your consciousness will open. 

@pat-czap, I'm glad you found some comfort in what our posters have written here. I have to say @dannyboy is SO on target, with the worst coming after the services and everyone goes back to their own lives. He's right about sitting in the silence, yet going out for coffee.

I remember the first time I laughed at something (a tv show) after Monica died. I was beside myself. How dare I do such a thing? How could anything be funny (even tho it was in reality weeks after her services). I had completely forgotten that at her visitation the night before her funeral, one of her friends that I hadn't met previously picked me out of the huge crowd there that night. His words after approaching me were, "I figured you were her mom because you look similar. She talked about you in homeroom all the time. We all have heard stories about you because she was always saying "my mom said this or that", but only a few of us knew what you looked like. When you smiled, I knew you were her mom from across the room." It's been almost 30 years, and yet I can still remember his words and could tell you his name, which I had never heard before that night. While it was hard to laugh, I realized she'd want me to. 

It is difficult to watch others go on with their lives once they go home. The bottom line is that we feel like our lives have ended. How do I go on without my ______ fill in the blank (child, spouse, sibling, parent, best friend)? The reality is that the lives of others may change a tad, but the lives of those closest to the individual who passed have permanently changed. There is a life before their passing and a new life after. It doesn't make the one good and the other bad, it's just different. There is a huge period of adjustment. The first year is the hardest because it is full of the first everything-first birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, etc. But if we do as they wish, and forge ahead, we can find peace and create something new. We can create something they'd love for us. We will never forget, or stop loving, we will just do it in new ways. Furthermore, we are each different, and what works for one of us may not work for someone else. It's trial and error until you find what works for you. Your passed loved one will be on the sidelines cheering you on, sometimes in front of you leading you forward, or occasionally behind you, pushing you forward in spite of our protestations. Monica did all of the above for me (plus some). 

@dannyboy, I've been keeping you in my prayers. Good work on the weight loss. I, too, said I'd never gain again, only to eat my words, whatever chocolate I could find, pasta, and too much cheese. I'll get back on track, but I don't have the motivation you have. All will be well with your tests. 

Dear @April, my heart goes out to you for putting so much of yourself into fighting for what you believed, only to have your town council turn their backs on you.  I've been through a similar battle over the past two years, so I know how devastating and exhausting the process can be.  Like yours, our project was to stop development that would harm people and the environment. Like yours, the outcome was predetermined from the beginning and it didn’t matter what evidence we presented of the harm it would do.

In fact, when someone initially asked me to get involved, I had a bad feeling about it, but I had to engage anyway because I saw how wrong the project was, and I knew I could make a difference.  Well, we lost, but we did make a difference in ways that I believe you have made a difference as well.

We managed to slow the process, but the people in charge, all elected officials and all from our own small town, were determined to put it through.  The negative impact on people and nature did not matter to them. Not only did they turn their backs on us, but they demonized us. And our adversaries were successful in running a disinformation campaign that made the project popular. So now I am no longer comfortable with some of my neighbors and others I used to work with on projects in the town.  

Good came out of it, though, and I wonder if you can see the good that comes out of all of your effort. For one thing, I got to know some wonderful people who felt as I did and worked as hard as I did, risking friendships in the town in order to fight for what they believed.  I hope you too found allies who felt as you did.

I also gained an appreciation for the many tireless activists around the world who never give up. My efforts pale in comparison to theirs. 

Most of all, I am glad to stand up for what I know is right.  And you should be glad too that you’ve worked that hard to further the good in the world. I believe that even though you did not win this battle, your truth and your cause may have created a wave reaction that you cannot yet see.  

Finally, I hope you will not buy into the idea that you somehow let other people down because you did not win . You fought hard, left everything on the playing field, And you fought on their behalf. You are a hero, April. 

@deetoo Thank you for asking. :-) I'm more drugged than before, but otherwise about the same. I had some significant pain this morning as the drugs were beginning to wear off before the next dose, so I called the spine specialist's office to see if I could get in sooner. They kindly allowed me to come in tomorrow (Thursday) at 8:30 AM. It's not a doctor I know or have seen before, so I don't know what will happen but I'm hopeful. (I had to read this post six times to correct typos. 😂)

@tgraf66, I'm glad you're getting in to see the specialist tomorrow.  I'm praying for you.

@pat-czap 

I am so sorry for the loss of your Greg. It does feel weird when our most beloved leaves and we can't believe the sun still rises and the world goes on spinning without them . So much love sent to you.

@jeanne-mayell thank you for the kind words.

While I am sure that some of the officials have dragged my name through the mud downtown, the truth is that it doesn’t bother me. If you remember the old meme “Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the ground in the morning, the devil goes ‘oh crap, she’s up!’.” I honestly want them to hear my name and feel dread about dealing with me. I want them to leave me in peace, but if not, then I will fight when I have to.

And the general feeling about this town’s officials are “They suck”. They have done a lot to piss off the people, but there are still a core that will vote the same ones in. As we have discussed in other terms of politics, many are blind at the election box. (I can’t vote for or against these people, due to my location just outside the town limits).

I was down early this week, but each is getting easier. I have slept easy for the past two nights. I am keeping in mind that Spirit is always working in the background. Since I was dragged into this fight, I had the feeling this project would cost the town dearly in the long run, and I still do. 

In the meantime, I am working to go back to my daily list of focuses. 

@mtgal99 I am so sorry for your loss.   Sending you heartfelt love and peace at this difficult time.