@lovendures , @journeywithme2 , @moonbeam , @jeanne-mayell - thank you. It is greatly appreciated.
It is quite possible that they sent notices that are delayed by the USPS, but we should have been notified when they first started deliberating the issue. For any tragedy it is shocking for families to have to confront news & images without warning. We know by the return address when we get mail from official agencies there will be news inside we have to deal with. We also know to be careful around anniversaries. We can prepare ourselves in such situations.
I thought I was ok in the wee hours this morning after unwittingly seeing the news, & continued with my routine. Then I found myself stopped in the middle of the road in tears with the dog looking at me perplexed at why we were no longer jogging or walking.
I was one of the 6 family members who was asked by the agency years ago to go to the hangar to sort the personal effects dredged up by the trawling operations in the hunt for clues & answers during the investigation. Only 3 of us actually went & did the job. When we finished the gastly task, I escorted one of the others into the reconstruction so he wouldn't be alone. There had been previous hangar tours for the family members 7 months after the crash, but the reconstruction had barely begun & the effects of both tours are emensly different. I don't mind the traumatic & haunting memories of the last hangar trip, as hundreds of families benefited from my actions. However, it has left me a tad more sensitive to the reconstruction pics than some of the others. Unfortunately, there are those who never could handle any of the photos. I hope they were informed before today.
My son was only 5 at the time of the crash. He was 7 when I went to sort personal effects. Naturally I never took him to see the wreckage. As a teen trying to understand all the technical aspects & piecemeal memories he asked me to take him to see the reconstruction. I asked him to wait until he was an adult who would be better equipped to emorionally handle what he would see. While running thus morning reality hit-I not only had to tell him to watch out for the news today, but in the midst of all that has been on my plate for the last few years, another trip to the reconstruction would now be added to the list. That was my wake up call as I had the dog out. My son has since confirmed he needs to go. So as of Monday the planning & jumping thru hoops begins.
Oh Cindy, dear Cindy. There are no words, but we all wrap you and your sweet family in our love.
@dannyboy I did this and sliced a big piece off my pinky. Took a day for the bleeding to stop. Keep it clean and dry if you can. So sorry.
Hey there. I have an Avastin infusion tomorrow, and it will be my first since September. So I'm definitely hoping it it's effective. I've been functionally deaf since the end of January. My hearing deteriorated while Avastin treatment was being paused for my surgery.
I received a lot of warnings from Spirit over the previous year that something like this might happen, so I'm not surprised. And I'm not necessarily frightened, partly because my hearing has rebounded in the past after a period of decline. I also have familial support; I am living with my parents until things get better. In some ways, this pause in my life feels like an opportunity for learning. But I still obviously want my hearing back soon.
@coyote, oh my, that sounds so frightening. You sound like you're reasonably calm and hope this is so. Sending all the healing energy I can manage. Stay strong and heal, my wolf-brother. ❤️
You have a calmness about you. You sound good. Will be thinking about you tomorrow on infusion day. All is working for your highest good.