@unk-p, I'm praying for your comfort and healing, dear friend. I love and miss you. I don't know the cause of your vestibular problems, but I can empathize. It's something I struggle with, often exacerbated when I'm under great stress. Do whatever you can to remain grounded and replenish yourself. I'm sending you a big hug from VA.
@gbs My brother came up to spend the day with me on Sunday. He has moved in with my sister and her family while he is looking for a place of his own. One of his problems was his memories of Rose are so entwined with their house, he felt he couldn't move on. Now that he's out, he's doing better. The nerve damage wasn't as bad as it could have been, there's just some numbness near his ear which the doctors think might improve over time. He's also going to AA meetings again, because he did what he did after he had been drinking heavily. I think he's gonna be OK.
@pamp Thank you so much for sharing this update. It sounds like he is reaching out and also accepting help, which is great, great news. I'll continue to send healing thoughts to him and you.
@pamp that's really good news. I hope he continues to make progress each day. Sending you all prayers, peace and love. Make sure you take care of yourself too.
@pamp, thanks for sharing the news about your brother. He's blessed to have such a supportive sister. It sounds like he's on the road to healing, one day at a time. I will include your brother in our Circle of Light healing meditation tomorrow evening. As @febbby23 stated, make sure you take care of yourself too.
@ghandigirl, thank you for your recent posts. They're so honest, hopeful and inspiring. I need to feel that right now. I also loved your wonderful story about your dog, Toby! Laughter is so good for the soul. Thanks for the beautiful reminder.
You mentioned about resetting your posture and how that helped with your balance and inner hear problems. That's been my experience as well. I have cervical dysfunction caused by some bad car accidents in my distant past. Fortunately I don't have pain, but the cervical constriction can make me feel unbalanced and ungrounded. It also contributes to my exhaustion and tinnitus. A strong core (which I don't have) can help to maintain good posture; otherwise, you're pulling on your shoulder and neck muscles to keep you upright, which is what I often end up doing. Isn't the body amazing? It's remarkable how everything is connected.
Temporomandibular joint inflammation can also be a cause of dizziness. Stress can increase clenching and grinding of the teeth, which can lead to inflammation as well as other problems.
I meant to thank you all a few days ago for sending me extra vibes on Wednesday during the meditation circle. Thanks and Namasté.
I honestly felt better from Wed night up until I learned of RBG's death yesterday, and also the death of an aunt who while I didn't know her well, she was a very good person who will be missed.
I muddled through, but this morning I'm barely keeping it together. I woke up in significant physical pain this morning for no physical/medical reason. I couldn't even make it through my usual Saturday morning Zoom dance class. I can't stop weeping.
@laura-f oh Laura I feel you. I am trying not to give into the worry and anxiety. I feel it would be disrespectful to RBG She was fierce and we can try to be also. Others on the forum have stated that these things need to come to be so we can get to our destination and goal. I am requesting light and peace for all of us. I don’t pray for strength because I started to notice the universe would answer me in situations that were trying. Once I realized that voice in my head was saying, “Look, see you came through, you’re strong enough.” Peace and light are always welcome and needed. We can get through this together. Hang in there my friend. Reach out when you need a boost. We are all here for each other. ❤️☮️
I am sorry you are again in physical and emotional pain. I will send you love calming energy.
Yes, the wind has been knocked out of me. The passing of RGB is jarring and dangerous given the place the country is in. She knew that and fought to the very end. We now MUST PICK UP THE FIGHT. No giving in to despair. Ask for protection & then volunteer any way you can to get out the VOTE!!!! I did calls today & will do so until this election. Call or email your local Dems to see what you can do. I am going through victory 2020. You call different places nationally based on the time zone. They train you- super easy. Do as much or as little as you like from home. You can also text bank too. Honor RGB, mourn her passing- but thank her service by getting involved to turn the tide- through any means available to you (prayers count & they work well with calls ). Much love to all ❤️❤️❤️
I'm so sorry for your pain and sadness. I've been in a similar space recently and can relate to those feelings.
I once read what brings us to tears, can lead us to grace. May amazing grace shine down on you, mending your heart, healing your body and renewing your spirit.
Be gentle with yourself, my friend. Sending you a big hug.
@laura-f Weeping may endure for a night, but joy come comes in the morning.
You do not weep alone. Our tears have purpose... Divine purpose...even as science is just now understanding a bit about them: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/the-microscopic-structures-of-dried-human-tears-180947766/
Love you dear sweet magnificent Laura ❤️
This too shall pass.. it may pass like a kidney stone.. but.. it shall pass.
I'm going through a lot of periods of doubt right now. Because of the nature of my new job, I'm outdoors at least 2 hours each day, which is good, but I'm also becoming hyper-aware of the current limitations of my body, and the difficulties that I have to overcome seem overwhelming. I have trouble keeping my balance, especially in uneven terrain; I can't bend over properly to pick up things off the ground because of my balance issues, but also the muscle atrophy in my right leg makes it hard to lift from my legs; and my hearing difficulties make everything so much more aggravating, especially now that everyone is masked.
Where I'm working seems like a good place to start forming a supportive real time community of allies, and I've started to try to do that. But when I'm dealing with all of the aforementioned difficulties, I feel like an imposter; "can I really do this work"? I also start thinking about how easy it would be to give up: to quit trying to live on my own and go back to my parents house and let my body just fall apart.
When I was a sophomore in high school, I sometimes had English class first thing in the morning. Once, my English teacher remarked to me, "You know [Coyote], out of everyone in this class, you always come in looking the most exhausted." That was 9-10 years ago, before my health problems became so much more pronounced. When I observe my sensations and emotions in each moment, I'm always exhausted on some level, and I don't really know what it's like anymore to be completely at ease. With the days shortening, winter coming, and the 2020 vortex moving even faster, the urge to just go home and give up is getting a lot more powerful.
I am sorry to hear that you have not been feeling well and hope by now you are improved. I suffered from vertigo for a month this summer and it ended up being caused by high blood pressure. So, new meds made all the difference. Vertigo can be very debilitating and I hope you find the cause for your distress soon. Sorry to be so late in writing to you. I have been taking time off the grid to center myself and deal with the onslaught of chaos that is 2020. Please pop in and let us know how you’re doing. You are always a welcome presence here. Sending you peace and healing, Unk P.
Living with a disability can mean going through long periods of adjustment and self doubt. As you know, one of my children is disabled and I remember well what he went through at your age. It’s not like you turn a page and voila, you’ve adjusted to having a disability and have no more self doubt. It’s deeply personal, challenging and can chip away at your self esteem. Yet, you can get through this period and become whole in your spirit if not completely whole in your body. I wish there were a magical mantra I could give you to repeat to yourself when you get discouraged. Be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself. I wish I could show you the man in full that you are becoming. In the meantime I send you love and support and healing.
@coyote, I hear you. I can't even imagine how hard it is. I don't want you to give up and go home if that would mean letting your body fall apart. I was reading this morning about all the years RBG kept going since her first cancer diagnosis in 1999. I wish you knew how important it is for you to keep going, write your books, be a messenger for this world. I will pray harder for you, send more healing, see you getting a new lift, a new energy.
@Coyote ,
it seems understandable to have these fears and doubts.
Are there things which might make a few of the challenges less challenging? Perhaps a walking stick? Or maybe an EZ- Reach grabbing type tool to assist you picking up things? Maybe the grabber could clip to your belt loop and the other be held in your hand. If you had one or both, you could then see how well you might manage things and still be able to build those relationships you desire.
Also, your identity and humanity are not tied to your job, where you live or your physical abilities.