Just received word that there are 4 confirmed covid cases with one hospitalization of a resident in the retirement place my mom lives. It is not on her floor, she is in personal care and it is in the health center but I am petrified. She is 88. She is physically very strong, especially for her age and I am praying hard that she will be okay.
Anxiety very bad today, even had a tiff with the boyfriend about being even more vigilant to keep me safe. He is the only contact I have now with the outside world. He is an essential worker so he is working almost every day, albeit in very sterile conditions. He is a butcher. I am scared for him too. I'm scared for EVERYONE. I am way too scared though. Need to stay in the moment.
I know logically that I am not sick, he is not sick, my mom is not sick, but the FEAR is huge today.
@ghandigirl, I'm sending healing and protective light to you, your mom, and your man. One day at a time, my friend.
@laynara, may you, your fiance and son be divinely protected and find peace during this difficult time.
ghandigirl and laynara, I will keep you both in my meditations and prayers.
I also have felt more fear the past few days. I am trying to remain present in the moment. And in this moment, there is nothing to fear. I will breathe in this peaceful moment, and breathe out my fear.
May we all hold ourselves, and each other, in the light.
❤️ ❤️ ❤️
What @deetoo said (beautifully):
I will breathe in this peaceful moment, and breathe out my fear.
May we all hold ourselves, and each other, in the light.
I went to sleep sending love to all who are in fear and grief right now and woke with the same thoughts.
Keeping you and yours in mind, ghandigirl, laynara, and Lovendures.
I also have felt more fear the past few days. I am trying to remain present in the moment. And in this moment, there is nothing to fear. I will breathe in this peaceful moment, and breathe out my fear.
May we all hold ourselves, and each other, in the light.
❤️ ❤️ ❤️
After about two weeks of solid zen, I am feeling a lot of anxiety and dread right now. I fell into a rabbit hole re: the news, which was clearly the trigger.
Thank you, @deetoo, for your kind words in this post. You are right: In this moment I have nothing to fear. Trying to hold on to this thought for as long as possible.
You've likely absorbed some of the panic in the collective... I feel it too every time I watch the news. Try grounding, clearing your energy and then returning your consciousness to the eternal peace at the center of your Being with some focused breathing:
Sit or lie still, calm your breathing to a slow pace, and then focus on the motion of your chest as the air moves in and out. As you focus, feel your mind float gently downwards, like a feather on an air current, until it settles at your heart. As your focus settles, listen for the silence that exists in this place of pure peace and calmness. Stay here for as long as you want.
@Lovendures - words fail. I am starting to run out of space in my head to keep everyone who is being affected in my thoughts, but know that right now I am sending you some light to pass on to your friends.
@Laynara - if it's possible, your fiancé may have to self-isolate when he's not at work, for two weeks at a minimum.
I'm doing my best to not listen to news, I read a couple of articles, have a cry, check the stats, have another cry, and then try to focus on my immediate environment. My anxiety increases daily. Every allergic sneeze and cough makes me think "this is it".
@frank Thank you for your kind post - I read it before falling asleep and used your ideas to help calm me. I will remember to do this when the fear gets too great.
I started sneezing and coughing in January. The pandemic hadn't reached us yet so I thought it was that "winter cold" that hit a number of us with the verging on being asthma kind of virus. Never got to that stage but has yet to go away.
I has severe allergies develop in the 80s. Miserable ceaseless hayfever and over sensitivity to any and all antihistamines unavailable back then (or even now) turned me into a zombie who never slept just hallucinated.
Got in under control while having long term 3x/week acupuncture for being unable to walk from chronic pain and that eased but the allergies I'd never mentioned totally disappeared!
Realized they were back. And i am apparently allergic to our newest cat we took in after he was abandoned. Long bushy thick fur! He'd started sleeping by me and it was that lovely fur!
But the pandemic had hit before I put it all together. Hard to think during allergy attacks!
I was checking in on my self daily...do i have the big virus or not? Oooh those naughty monkey minds that eat around the edges of logical thinking. The old horse or zebra hoof beats are always there in the subconscious!
Still sneezing but now i only worry about running out of Kleenex and having more laundry to do from too many places i might have to wipe with rags ?
Hang in there. You are not alone in #crazytown ?