My dog Toby was such a comfort to me. He continues to watch over me. I never thought I would have another animal who I loved as much as my Toby. I have been doubly blessed.
I have two cats and I love them both, but my Cleo is imbued with the same spirit as Toby. Every night during my forum time she lays on my shoulder, chest, and feet purring and cuddling. I have never seen or even heard of such an affectionate cat. During the day she is snuggly and often sits on me or right next to me. She is petite and sometimes I don't realize she is there.
Sometimes she is the only reason I can feel happy, or that this new life of mine is good.
I grew up in the city of a large metropolitan area and never had any pets growing up. My mother always felt my sister and I would be irresponsible and believed she would be the one who would end up having to care for the animal (which is probably true!) To tell you the truth, my lack of exposure to life's furry creatures made me a bit uncomfortable being around them. Other than spending some limited time with a few of my friends' dogs and cats, I never had a pet of my own until my first husband and I purchased a pair of zebra finches. Are you familiar with them? They're playful, noisy, and adorable.
There reached a point early on in my marriage when my husband at the time and I were having marital problems. I was terrified of him, so even though there wasn't any fighting between us, the environment was oppressive and stressful for me. We kept the finches in this huge cage, so they would have lots of room to move around. The birds would spend their time playing, swinging, and singing their squeaky tunes. Because the tension in our home was so palpable, over time the birds stopped singing and playing; instead, they became unusually quiet, with an air of sadness. Eventually one began attacking the other on a daily basis by pulling out her feathers -- one always being the aggressor, the other always moving away in fear. It was painful to watch, and I felt so helpless. Although I never admitted it at the time, it was a clear reflection of what was occurring in our home. Seeing that affected me in two ways: (1) the finches needed to be in an environment filled with peace and love; and (2) I needed to get the hell out of that marriage. We found a new home for the finches with a lovely family, and I eventually left that marriage. I don't know that I would have recognized the danger I was in until I painfully witnessed it through the finches' behaviors. I believe those sweet birds saved my life.
I never had another animal companion until 25 years later. I eventually remarried and 15 years ago my husband and I adopted a very sweet dog, Gracie. I've posted a few stories about her on this forum community site. Gracie passed on 3 years ago. When she was struggling with cancer, my husband and I were trying to decide when would be the right time to let her go. Gracie was so stoic and although we gave her the best palliative care, in retrospect we now feel she was probably in much more pain than we realized at the time. When we were discussing with our vet the best time to let her go, he remarked "our pets live for us." I got goosebumps when I heard him say that. It's really true, isn't it?
We are responsible for our animal companions when they are in our care, and as @jeanne-mayell insightfully pointed out, they "absorb our emotional burdens because they are dependent upon us and it's natural for them to be affected by our worries." But we are imperfect beings; we can only do the best we can. When we truly love them, our animal companions know it. I once saw a tee shirt that said "Be the person your dog thinks you are." I love that. For me that means treating myself with respect and kindness -- and to try and do the very best I can, one day at a time.
Posted by @jeanne-mayell:
And if we still carry a lot of stress, then it can't be helped. Our animals know we love them. And love is their greatest need.
@deetoo Thank you for telling us your story. I will never forget it. I'm going to go hug my dog now.
@deetoo Yes... yes...yes....We have been blessed to have these wonderful companions and learn from them... in the moment ... one day at a time.
Have you ever noticed how happy our furry companions are to see us come back in the door? Whether we just went to the mail box and came back? or took a longer excursion?
They know how to welcome and celebrate the presence of loved ones for sure.
@journeywithme2, what always tickled me was Gracie knew when my husband would be coming home. I'm not talking about a routine arrival, like returning from work at a particular time. If my husband ran an errand or had a gig (he's a musician), Gracie would sense he was on his way home, even an hour before he entered the driveway. Because my husband would always enter from the basement, Gracie would hop off the sofa and wait for him by the landing, peering intensely down the stairs leading up from the basement. Amazing.
@deetoo Yes! I love that! Proof of our connections! I had one of my beloveds reincarnate and return to me. It's really amazing.
@journeywithme2, that's such a gift! It's been 3 years since we lost Gracie to cancer. We plan to adopt again this year, and my wish is that she returns to us. If that doesn't happen, then I pray that Gracie is healthy, happy and well cared for.
@barbarmar22, I love the names Mozart and Duke Ellington! I'm sorry they've moved on, but I know the love and precious memories remain with you. How wonderful that they visit your dreams.