Superfishy, I second Michele's words! There is only so much a website like this can offer and at times it is important to get some professional help. I know from experience that reaching out for help can be scary and deeply uncomfortable because you have to open up in person while the anonymity of the web offers a sense of security. But it can make a world of a difference. We are rooting for you!
Superfishy, The brain is like a vacuum cleaner - it sucks up whatever you focus on or expose yourself to, and wires it. Then the wiring, which are neural networks, feed back to you what you've put in there. So fill your brain with gratitude and happy stuff, and avoid scary stuff, avoid scary movies, news stories, scary books and podcasts.
I mean premonition, not visions. I keep seeing premonitions of these events.