Ugh. I feel your pain. I posted on another thread about my BFF - known her as long as my hubby. She lives in New Canaan, among the Masters of the Universe, of which her husband is one. She's been very Reagan-conservative for years. I didn't think she was a Trumper until a few weeks ago. When she went to Mar-a-Lago for dinner and remarked about how pleasant a time she had. We agree on most other issues, especially social ones (abortion, immigration, etc.), so I can't give up on her. When she starts to head down that right wing corridor in one of our phone conversations, I try to re-steer her a bit. Sometimes it works, sometimes not. When it's not working I keep saying "Mm hmh" and I stop listening actively and listen passively. When she gets to the end, I change topic. This morning I sent her some science links re: COVID (she worked in the same healthcare career as me, so she's not in denial), and she sent me back a weird response that I don't plan on replying to because I don't know what to say:
"I think we are all going to get it and the strong will survive. Crazy, huh?"
So I think you handled it quite well, sounds like you expressed frustration but not personal anger. I'm sorry it happened on your birthday, but Smallhands McFucktard is the reason we can't have nice things anymore on any day. Take a time out from talking to this cousin for a bit. And maybe don't be on the phone when you're hangry?
Happy belated birthday. I shall raise my lunch mimosa to you.
On the plus side, Trump will never recover from this. The DJIA is tanking again today putting it well below where it was on 45's inauguration day, the economy is cratering for all to see, and while I am optimistic that we will get through COVID 19 within the next few months, his utter incompetence was on display for all to see. Stick a fork in it, he's done. He'll be asked to leave at some point.
"Smallhands McF#cktard is the reason we can't have nice things anymore on any day" ? ?
I am officially stealing that!
Most importantly, happy birthday to you!!! I hope your day is a meaningful one and that you can put this incident in a box and place it high on a shelf in a closet you seldom use. It's okay to speak your truth and be your authentic self. None of us want to hurt our loved ones, even ones who are part of that Orange Blowhard's cult. At least you didn't drop the F bomb which is pretty much bad form.
My brother, sister-in-law and half brother are devout Trumpists and we are making a point to never discuss politics in any way, shape or fashion. We focus on being kind to one another.
This was not always the case, especially at the big family get together a few years ago when I dropped the F bomb squarely on my sister-in-law in front of everyone else. What can I say? I was provoked. Now surely, there are occasions that require the F bomb. One of my sons informs me that I have started swearing like a sailor and I am trying to do better. I have sworn more in the last four years than in the rest of my life, but still, dropping the F bomb on the die hard Rightwinger and someone I love is not how I want to be remembered.
You are an amazing, gifted person and I'm so glad you share yourself with our community. We are lucky to have you!! Happy, happy birthday!
Your post made me feel so wonderful! I smiled then laughed my butt off! I have seen you on our zoom events and read your wonderful predictions and you are so lovely and elegant. So picturing you dropping the f bomb had me giggling!
You are so kind, as are so many here. You all made my birthday this year and I'm not sure I would survive this whole Orange nightmare/Covid 19 thing without you and everyone here.
Thank you! ? ? ❤️ ❤️ ?
Marketwatch opinion piece by Chris Edelson calls for Trump to resign:
https://www.marketwatch.com/story/the-time-has-come-for-trump-to-resign-2020-03-11
? (oh please God....)
Your post made me feel so wonderful! I smiled then laughed my butt off! I have seen you on our zoom events and read your wonderful predictions and you are so lovely and elegant. So picturing you dropping the f bomb had me giggling!
You are so kind, as are so many here. You all made my birthday this year and I'm not sure I would survive this whole Orange nightmare/Covid 19 thing without you and everyone here.
Thank you! ? ? ❤️ ❤️ ?
Yes, I am trying to visualize Bluebelle do this ha ha.
@Triciact, this has become a family here and we celebrate you on your birthday! May you be able to enjoy it next year with a celebration filled with friends and family. Lots of love and a big hugs haded your way.
The only correction I would make to Edelson's story is that the time for Twitler to resign was before he ever ran.
Listen here, @triciact:
HAPPY GOSH DARN BIRTHDAY! ? I'm so glad you showed up on this planet when you did.
Though I feel your pain, sister.
I'm the only person in my family of origin (other than my own child) who isn't a rabidly red, Fox News brainwashed, dyed-in-the-wool (pulled over the eyes of wolves) lemming for Trump.
So, for that and other reasons, I resort to a lot of meditation and mindfulness.
Sounds lame (or difficult?...it isn't), but it's my saving grace in more ways than one. Contemplative practices have helped me learn to be with pain, illness, difficulty, confusion, uncertainty, discomfort—really, whatever arises. To make these things an object in my awareness rather than an overwhelming part of me I can't escape or accept.
And all that has a way of promoting stillness, space, self-acceptance, and radical compassion of the sort that naturally lends itself to acceptance and compassion for whatever shows up in someone else. My practice has naturally helped me to become more responsive, rather than reactive. It allows me to engage with love, to stay present with whatever comes up without needing to defend a position or change a point of view or flex my mental muscles because something a loved one says feels dumb or worse.
That said, if asked directly, I'm always gonna speak my truth. That's both my personal code and an undeniable temperament. Of course, it goes without saying that I fail at times to do this without feeling reactive or butt hurt (as my people say). We're human. The guy in the White House is a cur and a con man. It breaks our hearts to see the people we call family and friends selling out to that kind of derangement! But they're also human, and humans do all manner of inexplicable things, as they have done since they climbed out of trees and walked on two legs. Maybe the antidote, if there is one, is in more forgiveness, less hatred—for them and for us. (And finding safe places to vent, amen.)
I've been known to drop an f-bomb, too. I expect I will again.
As a writer, a logophile, and a working class Mississippian, my position on swearing is this: all words are valuable. They color language. So, I'll cuss like a sailor the live long day! It's fun. It lets off steam, like yoga for the throat chakra.
And hell, it gives a lady additional character. *ahem*
However, using swear words cruelly as a direct attack (e.g., "Hey, Kellyanne Connway, you're a real c*%t!"), or simply dropping them in the middle of a heated discussion is ...aggressive. As I wish to rise above my raising, I try always to avoid either instance.
But if somebody messes with a person I care about? I'll cuss 'em out in a skinny minute, no apologies. ;)
i love language. I love words. To me, all words are good and frankly, there’s a time and a place for profanity. Sometimes only a f bomb will do. My dear, beloved late mother would not be proud of me if I continue spouting off indiscriminately, though, and I do try to live my days in a way that would please her.
Much love to you, my beautiful friend.