Beautiful, Laura .... How many of us here besides me would love to join you !?!?* My mouth is watering over that sumptuous feast...omg ... and I would be there with a gift just for the beignets (and the Perrier Jouet ?) Congratulations! ?
Happy Anniversary!Â
My husband & I have remarked on how little our lives have changed, since we're both highly introverted and, although we like doing things with people, we rarely initiate or are invited so most weekends it is just us at home anyway. (My moon is in Cancer, so home is my happy place.) He is still working at the office (considered essential business) and I am busy teaching online, so we don't have more free time than usual. I do miss seeing my students and teaching online is more work in some ways, especially since I've been reaching out to try to support my students. I also miss seeing my colleagues, although I'm lucky to say hello to them once a week, but still... We've had meetings on Zoom, but I freeze on camera and only attended one, with video and sound muted on me. I tried a Zoom call with my family on Easter and had to hunch down and turn my face away in order to say anything coherent--my brain just fires off wildly and I can't think and get super anxious. While I don't have a diagnosis, I am not neurotypical, and it will take longer than this quarantine period to train my brain to adapt to that mode of communication. It took many years for me to be able to handle phone calls, and I still prefer to write rather than call my elected reps because it takes me so long to plan and psych myself up for the call and then to get my nerves to settle afterward--like, that's half my day right there!
Last week my husband turned 50. Our plan was to visit friends of his in Nova Scotia this summer, but we stopped planning that trip when the virus hit, since everything is so uncertain, especially travel. My son and I did our best to give him a special day with a homemade chocolate cake, and 50 paper hearts hanging from the ceiling throughout our 800sqft home, each with something we love or appreciate about him written on it. A few friends of his drove by at our dog-walking time to say hello and wish happy birthday from their cars. It was funny--I am so very guileless that pulling off a surprise for someone is difficult for me, and he was ready to start the walk 10-minutes before I told his friends we'd be out in front of our house. He likes to be surprised, so I didn't want to spoil the plan and I had to flounder around finding silly reasons to stall, like changing my shoes, using the bathroom longer than normal, etc. He is so patient and sweet, but I could tell he was wondering what was up with me by the time we finally walked out the door. It worked out, and he felt loved and appreciated.Â
Apart from the anxiety, which I've got a handle on now, the hardest part has been grocery shopping. I try to focus on being grateful that we even have money for food and that I am well enough to venture out, but boy, do you see how things are different out there! My normal shopping routine is pretty intense--my husband cals it the Kessel Run--because I go out at 8am on Saturdays to avoid the crowds and go to 4 or more places. I plan our weekly meals and know what I need and what things cost, and I work in the Co Op and the tailgate market to buy what we can afford from local growers and get the rest from Trader Joe's & other stores. But now these stores are open at different times, and you have to wait in line; the mask makes my glasses fog up, and the anxiety in the air is pretty thick. When I get home I want to cry, but instead I'm busy washing my hands and wiping down my car and the doorknobs, etc. Normal shopping will be such a breeze after this!
With Georgia opening soon, and North Carolina getting pressured, I am just praying that our state holds tight and they make a solid plan with lots of testing before they try to go back. There's very little testing happening here now and access is an issue.Â
@bluebelle sounds wonderful, healthy and sane. Â Plus the puppy, omg what a sweet baby. Â Enjoy.Â
@laura-f Happy blessed anniversary. Your plan sounds wonderful.  Cheers!  Here’s to many more beautiful anniversary celebrations.  Enjoy each minute.  These moments are really the things that matter.  Love of family, gratitude, joy for what we are given and our people to share it with.  I may start raising a glass in your honor right now. ???❤️  Â
I loved your response so very much. You are truly living and learning and rising to each new challenge with an immense amount of love and strength whether you or anyone else can truly see the depths of your gifts or your level of living the healthiest and simplified life we all need to be adapting towards.Â
Never doubt your own unique gifts or your purpose in this world and continue to speak your truths as you navigate your way to blossoming into the fullness of this new path and challenging journey.Â
Sending big hugs and joining your heron dreams each time one lands on our property or soars above in all its majesty through both hazy and clear blue skies.
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HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to both of you! ? It's times like these that makes us especially grateful for the loved ones in our lives. @laura-f, your dinner sounds fantastic! You also made me reconsider my daily attire.  (I'm normally such a creatively colorful dresser; what the hell happened?) Â
@lovendures and @bluebelle, I love how you both are cherishing each moment in your daily lives. Your descriptions of your daily life made me smile.  Lovendures, I too am looking forward to some of that new change becoming our normal normal. Bluebelle, your puppy is such is a cutie pie! My husband and I intended to adopt a dog this spring -- our sweet Gracie passed away two years ago -- and then this pandemic happened.  It makes me think about finding a way to do it now, rather than waiting for this crisis to pass.
@bluebelle, I’m very curious about the online figure drawing groups you discovered. I am also an artist but even before this pandemic occurred, I’ve had difficulty finding a studio nearby that is open earlier in the day. My exhaustion hits me hard in the afternoon, so I can’t handle a studio or class in the mid-to-late pm. And because I’m primarily interested in figure studies, that limits me somewhat. I had never considered an online studio. How does it feel working online that way? I would imagine it’s very different from live figure work, but it’s worth a shot. Thanks for sharing that info with us.Â
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@herondreams, Happy 50th Birthday to your hubby! His birthday surprise sounded very special and quite lovely.
I can relate to a lot of what you shared. I also am not neurotypical and feel that anxiety/brain freeze thing with Zoom, and similar modes of communication.  I thought it was because I am introverted and empathic, but that's only part of the reason. It's also partly a nature/nurture thing, I believe; it's something about drawing attention to myself in that way that makes me uncomfortable. And the rest of it is a mystery.
Fortunately I've never had a problem with telephones.  I do find that I communicate better through writing, or in-person, one-on-one exchanges. Group settings can feel a bit overwhelming -- it all depends on the group and my state of mind. I've tried to participate in Jeanne's "Read the Future" nights, but the group energy + performance anxiety + pace causes me to blank out. So I show up for the beginning meditation, and have Jeanne send me a link to do the readings on my own. I also engage in our weekly Wednesday night Circle of Light meditations; initially, I turned off my video but finally decided I could come out of the shadows. I will speak on rare occasions during those online meditations, but it's brief. When we do the actual meditation, I have to turn off my monitor (too much light) and sit in darkness. Doing that helps me to really focus on Jeanne's powerful guided meditation.  Â
Oh, another thing -- I am an artist, but have major brain freeze if I attempt to do any kind of creative design on the computer. There is something about that keyboard, monitor -- the whole thing -- that feels overwhelming and impersonal to me. I need that tactile feeling of the paints or drawing materials -- the directness of putting that pen or brush to paper or canvas, getting my hands dirty, the whole thing -- that switches on my right brain.
To quote Popeye:Â I Yam What I Yam and Dats What I Yam!
@michele-b and deetoo
You are such lovely, loving souls and I thank you for the sweetness you extend to others, making the world better with all your kind words and thoughts. ❤️Â
@laura-f Happy blessed anniversary. Your plan sounds wonderful.  Cheers!  Here’s to many more beautiful anniversary celebrations.  Enjoy each minute.  These moments are really the things that matter.  Love of family, gratitude, joy for what we are given and our people to share it with.  I may start raising a glass in your honor right now. ???❤️  Â
AS @Bluebelle indicated - we're all day drinking now, so bottoms up!
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Happy 50th to your husband!
I never loved shopping, especially household, and now even I get anxiety just trying to go pick up a prescription 3 blocks away.
Agoraphobia - fear of leaving the house, actually from the Greek means "fear of the marketplace".
So we're all agoraphobic right now.
I find it helpful to wear my earbuds and listen to music or a fun podcast while I'm shopping/waiting, as I used to do before all this. I keep the volume a little lower in case I need to hear directions from an employee, but it distracts me from all the non-normalcy of shopping nowadays.
It must be terribly hard to teach online, you are a hero.
WOW Nifty 50! Happy 50th to your husband! I pray he has many more wonderful happy birthdays. Sending him and you lots of love and light for a milestone birthday. ? ❤️ ?Â
Happy birthday and anniversaries y’all. May you have many more ?
You are a such a sweet sensitive soul.... ♋?
When you mentioned your glasses fogging up because of the mask, it reminded me of this tip: wash your glasses with shaving cream ... this somehow prevents the fog...
Everyone has started to wear (mostly homemade cloth) masks finally here in the small village where I live... they were slow on the uptake, but now are posting all kinds of little coping tips... ?
@stargazer, thanks for your suggestion about the shaving cream!  Another thing I found -- if the mask has a nose wire that you can fit around the bridge, my glasses don't fog up.
First, I love how you surprised your husband. Â The hearts and the people, so awesome. Â The whole things. Â I have a teenage niece who just had a birthday in a different state. Â Her grandparents live nearby and they drove over to sing happy birthday from their car. Â She was dressed up for the day and was very happy.
Second, my glasses fog up too with my mask, at least the first few times I had them one to shop.  I have shopped farmers markets and TraderJoe's this pandemic and really appreciate them, though honestly, the farmers market was more scary to me. Too many places to make purchases even though they were very spread out.  I have to go to Safeway in a few minutes.  I don't want too but my daughter needs some over the counter medicine and Walgreens didn't have it when she tried to find it earlier today.  I have to psych myself into the right frame of mind to go.  It is a battle and I need to pay attention to what I am doing, but it is too nerve racking if I only think about it that way.  I really need  a yin and yang balance to my shopping frame of mind I guess. Â
Can one shop with a vigilant /zen mind frame? Â
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