Unfortunetly I've had nothing but toxic experiences on FaceBook, and every other social media group and message board I ever joined.
I think it's my fault. There's obviously something wrong with me that others can see that I'm just not getting.
Sometimes I really feel like cutting the internet out of my life and becoming a hermit...
I'm sorry you are feeling bad. There is a great tarot spread called the blind side - although I have been afraid to do it except when I'm the company of supportive friends. If you are going to do it then please take it to the thread on Tarot rather than here. I will make a post on it there. Also I would suggest posting your last line of your post in the section where people reach out for support and insight. RE: If you need support, understanding, and love, let us know here. Sounds like you are having trouble figuring out how to connect. People will reach out to you. I see they really like you! This is a nice group.
Re: Facebook
Further to what Jeanne said, I have returned to FB after a 9 month hiatus. Before I left I culled my friends list by half. I eliminated: people who I have not really engaged with in the last 2 years or who I had already unfollowed but not unfriended, people who I see and talk to IRL on a weekly basis, relatives whose political views are toxic. I also left all groups I was in except one (which is for old college mates), and unliked every single page (commercial or non-profit) I had liked. I deleted most of my old posts and much personal info. I then blocked as many ads as I could and reported most of them as spam.
Coming back, I laid out my new rules in my first post:
-I will not join any new groups nor will I like any pages beyond personal ones
-I will not be accepting new friend requests
-I will not be participating in surveys or quizzes of any kind
-I will not click on any ad presented
-I will not post or engage with political discussions until at least 2020, and maybe not even then
-I will not re-share anything except what makes me smile or laugh (this includes those chain letter "If you hate cancer..." posts)
-I am only on FB to keep in touch with people I love and miss
-I will not respond to group messages on messenger, in fact I keep messenger shut off, so if you need something, email me.
-If I do not like a post I will scroll by without comment, and I no longer correct strangers' comments for objective accuracy, this includes fake news posts, hysteria, and scams that have been re-circulating for years
-I will check in once a day at most and will be logging out after checking and I will not be checking in from my phone (I never installed the app, but I used to check from my phone browser)
As I've implemented this, I noticed FB doing some pretty wily stuff to try to get me to re-engage at prior levels. First of all, I only see about 15 posts in my news feed, it won't let me scroll down past to see older posts, it dead ends. Also, when I log out it posts a notification on the login page, and/or a message notification, when I log back in, it was a lie - no new messages or notifications. And FB has for reasons I can't explain, prioritzed ads involving MS meds. I do not have MS and am not in touch on FB with anyone who does. Whatever.
The hiatus did my mental health a world of good. Going forward, my rules are shielding my mental health. If FB disappears, I wouldn't exactly cry over it. But know that we all do have a small measure of control if we take the reigns and limit our interactions on FB.
Namasté
Wondering if there is a solution to keeping the good stuff and protecting people from the bad. We may not need to throw it out altogether but fix it. We need for it to evolve.
A plausible next step for social networking is for the current gigantic platforms to give way to decentralized "federations." Email is an example of federated web technology, although it's not clear yet how social networks can adopt that sort of decentralization. The startup Mastodon is experimenting in this field. Whatever supersedes Facebook and friends, things would be better under a funding model that relies on voluntary user donations (what Wikipedia has been using for 18 years now).
From a sociological perspective, it would be best if these changes come from the grassroots instead of being mandated by governing authorities, as grassroots change tends to be more enduring and dynamic. But antitrust investigations and privacy laws like the one adopted by the EU would certainly help effect change in the short term.
One thing that I have done on FB is to click on occasional links for nature and conservation type sites. Then my advertisements are filled with photos of nature and groups like the Nature Conservatory and Sierra Club type organizations. At least there are nice photos to see as I scroll. Occasionally I will also find out about the latest threats to nature in my home state of which I was not aware.
So there is that positive way of changing how FB interacts with me.
I know someone on here said that Facebook will cease to exist in a couple years. Does anyone know or see tumblr going down soon as well?
tumblr has has alienated a whole lot of folks by banning nudity and so-called pornography, while not having any real policy against fascist hate mongering. Many folks have deleted, or just stopped using their accounts out of principle, even if they were not depicting nudity at all on their own blogs.