@cindy Thank you for your post about grieving and feeling guilty about a moment of laughter and happiness. It hit home with me regarding an interaction I had with my brother about 9 months after his son died. We were talking about travel. My husband and I were about to go to Europe and he was telling me to make sure we go here and there, to this restaurant, etc. I commented to him that it was so good to hear him excited and that our talking about travel really brought him to life!
I knew in that moment that I shouldn't have said it. It was just so good to have my brother back. We haven't had a decent texting or verbal conversation since. I made him feel guilty, but I didn't mean to. No words. Grief is terrible.
My tests appear to indicate I'm good to go - They measure fatty liver disease in 1/3 increments and I have to be less than 1/3, which I was, and there is no scarring, and my liver is the firmness it's supposed to be (and nothing more) I won't get a call from the center because I've already passed the bigger tests, but having looked up a really helpful website that tells me what each measurement should be we're in the clear.
I was talking with K last night and we've been using a pregnancy metaphor (I'm deeply sorry for this ladies on the site) - We finally decided the little bundle of bile duct joy I'm caring for right now should have a name so we decided on "Greg." So...Greg is good to go!
(My wife is already designing "Team Greg" shirts for everyone to wear when the transplant takes place.
Goal is still February for weight loss and March/April for the procedure!
@dannyboy Okay then. My husband who just passed was Greg. I have seen his name and birthdate a lot the last few days. It's rather funny to have you name your bile duct bundle of joy...Greg! More power to you.
@pat-czap You know, as soon as I read the message from @dannyboy I thought about you and looked up your original post to confirm the name! I was worried it might upset you, but had the thought (as you mentioned) that it might actually be a little nod from him and Spirit to reassure you. I love that you have been seeing his name and birthdate around. Definitely not a coincidence. May it bring a smile to your heart.
@cc21 Greg and I were 2 months from 45 years of being married. He was my best friend. When Greg from Metronet knocked on my door, I was like alright, that's weird. When I picked up an art piece at a local store, flipped it over and the signed date was his birthdate, that was something. Other incidents have happened as well. I do believe he is trying to get my attention. 🙂 Dannyboy and K choosing Greg as the name is random to say the least, and amusing to me. I have to tell my sister who is visiting this new name association.
Small update: The spine specialist is recommending an MRI, but he said any decision about surgery will need to wait until he has that in his hands. The MRI center is supposed to call me to schedule it in the next few business days, but probably tomorrow.
I explained to him that I'm violently claustrophobic which is somewhat incompatible with an MRI. He gave me some Ativan to take before I go to the center and then again just before the procedure. I question whether that will be sufficient, but the only other option is full sedation, which could be done, but would have to be scheduled further out. *sigh*
@pat-czap oh my goodness - I didn’t make the connection until now. 😳. We both had different people named Greg who went out of their way to help us in the past. My current professor, who I had the most during this new degree I’m finishing was also a Greg and that’s sort of where the name came from - a discussion on helpful people’s names!
@pat-czap I love it! I had a similar thing when my Dad passed years ago. He was always the one to help with car stuff and had helped me buy my first car. A few months after he died, I needed to get a new vehicle (trading in the one he helped me buy years before.) My new-ish husband and I went to the local dealer and found a vehicle we wanted. We were referred over to a sales person to complete the paperwork and her first name was the same as my Mom's and her last name was my Dad's first name. 😯 Totally felt his presence there and knew he was helping us get our next vehicle!
@tgraf66 I too am claustrophobic. (I think I was buried alive in a prior life). lol I had one MRI years ago that they gave me pills to help. I was sick after from the medication and wound up in bed all weekend as I was very sleepy. This past year I was very sick with gall stones and had the stone removed, then the gallbladder. Two months later another stone. I had to have two MRI's with no medication. The tech gave me a pillow to put under my knees to take the pressure off my back, gave me a blind fold, put ear plugs in my ears for the noise and a set of headphones over the ears. They can also play music to try and distract you. This worked for me. I wish you good luck. I will be praying for your success.
@tgraf66 When you know when your MRI will be please let us know - in addition to what they gave you (and they also gave me Morphine while I was in there to keep me calm) we'll all try to make sure we send you the energy you need to get through it while doing it.
Sentiments like this don't always help but I'll say it here in case this is one of the 49% of the time it actually is - sometimes keeping your mind on the fact that once you're out of there you'll have better answers is the thing that will keep you going.
@tgraf66 Hi, I am not a fan of the MRI, I have found if I keep my eyes closed the whole time, from the time I lay on the bed bit, I don’t look at anything going on in the room beforehand, the eyes are shut from go to whoa and I try and think about other things. It helps me. Good luck with it all.
best wishes
Okay, so they gave me 3 mg of Ativan (one an hour before, and two 15 minutes before), plus I took all my regular meds (which also have a sedative effect), so I was probably waaay overmedicated, but I got through it. 🎉 The machine was a newer one so the tunnel was actually quite a bit bigger than the ones I've been in before, so I think I probably could have done it with less meds, but I'm glad I didn't. Anyway, I won't get the interpretation until at least Monday, so I'll keep y'all posted. Thanks for all the prayers and good vibes. 🤗🥰
I reached out to the transplant coordinator yesterday with a few questions and she called me back this morning. Apparently the transplant teams are meeting today to see if we'll be moving forward.
Enough people have read this and see me moving forward so I'm not super worried but there's still a nagging little voice in the back of my head going "But it's not a done deal!" - as soon as I know for sure I'll let you know. (She was happily surprised about my weight loss to date and told me my whole team is very in favor of moving forward - but both my team and K's team has to agree so my fingers and toes are now firmly crossed over one another for the day!)
@dannyboy As I read your first line I heard... "Relax...you've got this" So try not to stress out and worry.. it doesn't do you any good and you need to take care of your mental health too! Hugs!!! Kudos... Prayers,Light and Love to you!!! All of Heaven is on your side to support you in giving this incredible Gift!!!! ❤️
@dannyboy, I felt very calm as I read your post. Given the nature of this surgery, it's not at all surprising that all of the physicians involved are approaching this mindfully. That's really what you want to see. Just take it a day at a time, and know that we're all rooting and praying for you.