@coyote Hang in there. My doctor just doubled the dosage of my anti-depressant too. Keep it up. I have been on antidepressant on and off for my entire adult life, combined with psychotherapy. Finally I decided to take it permanently about eight years ago. It makes a huge difference. The only downside is that I can't live without it now but so be it. The good news is that I do not forget the emotional pain I experienced; that the medication helps me see it with clarity and helps me experience simple joy in life. I am able to help others since I am no longer crippled by my own suffering. I pray for your healing, for your being whole again.
Hi Deetoo,
I pretty much felt like giving up in terms of not trying to make something of my life. I felt like just accepting whatever happens.
Somehow I started feeling better. The stem cells were waking me up every night...actually the nerve pain was waking me up. The drug for this pain is Gabapentin. And strangely enough, this drug also treats anxiety and depression.
I went off Klonopin after 36 years. I started taking Valium for muscle spasms and learned they last 100 hours in one’s system as opposed to Xanax lasting 30 hours. So I will use that for high anxiety situations.
So my point isn’t very clear. Maybe things get better when you give up? Or maybe all the nerve pain led me to a new anxiety and depression treatment. I don’t know. But I was clearer with my therapist today than I’d been in weeks. I feel the days darker and darker by the day. This begins the toughest time for me. Maybe I will just keep taking my supplements and do what I can. Today was beautiful in Oregon and that almost always helps. Thanks for reading.
Anita
@tgraf66, hope you will feel better soon! Are you staying in The Netherlands or going for Germany concerning surgery? Good thing they didn't cancel it due to Covid. Stay away from the virus, please!
@Coyote, @Anita and everybody else I might have missed, stay strong and keep fighting. There is always light at the end of the tunnel.
Apologies if I have missed things, but I have a bit of drama myself. A nurse at my mother's home has Covid. We're waiting to see if it has spread, no tests are done. The home is closed off until the 8th. My mother is dying of dementia, but this is not something I want to be added. Bit of emotional roller-coaster myself since last week...
Strength and light to you all. ❤️
@tgraf66, hope you will feel better soon! Are you staying in The Netherlands or going for Germany concerning surgery? Good thing they didn't cancel it due to Covid. Stay away from the virus, please!
Just checking in before I head to the hospital. Thank you to everyone for the prayers and well wishes. I'll let you know how things go as soon as I'm able.
I'm actually in the US. I had to have a Covid test and the hospital is following massive protocols, so I'm not concerned, but thank you for thinking of me. :-)
You have popped into my mind a number of times recently. I miss your visits on the forum and hope you are doing alight. I am sending you a whole bunch or love and a great big hug. If there's anything you need, let us know. We are always here for you.
I feel so much for you, Coyote. I see you are taking the generic for Zoloft. My first thought is wondering if you have had brand name Zoloft. I ask because I took many paroxetine for many months before realizing I was tired, but no less depressed. I had to get approval for the brand name, Paxil, but once I did, I definitely felt better. I still have less than great times to say it mildly, but I did learn that the brand name far outweighed the generic.
You can’t mix St. John’s Wort with either of these, by the way. But I did recently discover that Gabapentin helps with anxiety and depression. And here in Oregon, they are actually putting on the ballot to use psilocybin, a compound from certain species of fungus. There are therapists using it in very small dosages in a very controlled manner that somehow activates the brain in such a way that gets rid of the anxiety and depression. Personally, I’m afraid of it at the time, but just want to tell you of a new treatment. There is also a device that I have by Fisher Wallace. It is completely non invasive. People with ptsd, anxiety and depression use it with success and it is FDA approved.
I also get more depressed in the fall and winter with the shorter days. I enjoy the outdoors and Oregon isn’t made for the kind of outdoor activities I enjoy.
i have found that it helps for me to do things like painting. I was going to the senior center, but now it may not open until January. But creating things, if I can get the energy to do things,helps me.
I also see a naturopath who gave me tests that showed me what I was low in. Some things were horribly low.
She wants me to exercise, but I hurt my knee and have back trouble. So I’ve had to get injections. I know insurance doesn’t pay for all these things, but if you need financial help, don’t doubt that a gofundme page could help. I know I’d contribute.
So please look into these as I know having no hope for better days is horrible.
Blessings to you.
Anita
No worries, @moonbeam . :-) As far as I know the surgery was successful...I didn't stay awake to see. ;-) I have a followup visit in a couple of weeks to check on things. It was done via robot-assisted laparoscopy, so I don't have any open wounds. I've not had a lot of pain, but coughing is an adventure! Thanks to everyone for your thoughts and prayers.
I would like to hold up my dear friend, Thomas, for some light and good energy. He went to the hospital four days ago with fatigue, chest tightness, shortness of breath. He thought for sure he'd come down with covid, only to find three days later that he has multiple myeloma ... a blood cancer. He's being very strong right now and focusing on information and treatment instead of worry and fear, but he has a wonderful wife, two daughters he adores, a job that brings him joy ... I know all that could be lost has to be weighing on them all right now. Thank you, beautiful ones.
@saibh May he and his family be comforted by your friendship and all the prayers that are coming his way. I’m praying for them and for you. God be with him as he goes through treatment, and the upheaval of this diagnosis.
My 95 year old father is slowly dying of 5th stage renal failure. He is present and raging and sad and so so smart and we can't get to him at the Atria, and as a tight knit family is is excruciating.
I'm one of those browsers who loves all you are doing here, who takes so much hope and love from it even though I don't speak up. But right now, I feel knit into the web of unmitigated grief of this dis-ease.
@kerry I'm sending you prayers, peace and love for your dad and your entire family. My mom passed from the same thing, so I know what you're all going through. May you all receive peace and comfort in the coming days. We are lifting you and your family up in love and light.
@Saibh I am sending love and light for healing to your friend Thomas. My the doctors use their wisdom to treat him and he has a complete recovery. Peace and love to you, Thomas and his family.
So sorry to hear about your father. It is very difficult when we can't get to our loved ones during the end of their journey with us here on earth. I feel for you and your family. I am sending love and light to your father, that he may know he is loved and to you and your family for love, peace and strength during this time.
I am lighting candles in a crystal grid sending out Love,Healing Energy and Light to all in need. I feel compelled to say " It is always darkest before the dawn... hold.. hold.. the Light is coming. 5th dimension Energy is flowing like a river now. Rest in the stream of Light and renew and heal. Take what you need. As my beloved Maya Angelou said " #1 Make a Sign that Says "Every Storm Runs Out of Rain" #2 Admire Yourself for Trying #3 Trust Yourself
We are ..each others rainbows in these clouds.
Peace, Be still. ❤️
@kerry, we are grieving with you. I remember how I grieved for the loss of my mother as she declined and died from dementia. The long goodbye...made more heart-wrenching for you because you aren’t able to be by your father’s side. Please keep us posted about how things are going. We are here and we care.