posted by @vida:
There have been moments of grace in the midst of all this mayhem.
@vida, I love that. Hold on to that. Nothing in life stays the same. Our emotions can change on a dime. I have to remind myself that I may not be able to change others, but I can change how I respond to others and the world around me. And I will remember my own moments of grace when I'm feeling hopeless.
@anita, I'm 68 and understand how you're feeling. I do believe you are resilient, but exhausted. Like you, it's been a long road for me, and I feel physically, mentally and emotionally spent. I'm happy with the woman I have become, but at this age, I really expected life "out there" to be more peaceful. Collectively it feels like we've been hit with a 2 by 4. So let us remember to detach from the drama, nurture ourselves, remain hopeful, and shine our light in whatever ways work best for us.
I thank God for this wonderful community.
Asking for some light and healing. Yesterday I resumed taking an antidepressant (sertraline), which is a good thing; even though I've thought about trying St. John's wort, I decided fall of 2020 is not the right time to be experimenting with an herbal supplement when I know I respond well to sertraline and when my mood and energy is getting worse by the week. But today was a huge derail in terms of self care and getting important tasks done, and I don't feel ready for the week ahead.
More than that, everything just seems really bleak. I'm repeating self-destructive patterns going back to my teenage years, which makes me feel like I'm not moving forward in life. With those impressions comes the dread that I won't heal and that my body will just keep falling apart.
I know, this will pass. I've been here before, and I've always emerged with renewed optimism and determination. But the in-the-moment dread, discomfort, and doubt is still hard to bear.
@coyote Things won't always be this way, won't always be so bleak. We are being subjected to a daily barrage of psychological attacks by a sociopath. It's damaging to anyone, but especially anyone with any kind of experience with depression or anxiety. You see what happens every day and it is literally insane and hard to wrap your had around. But it will end, and things will be brighter. I will hold you in my heart and send you love and good energy. xoxo
@coyote. I can't begin to know how hard it all is for you. You are being tested, that is for sure. Good to do whatever it takes to get you through. An antidepressant sounds wise. It's not forever. I feel you are meant to grow from this in ways you can't imagine. You are an extraordinary person, a person of greatness. You now must fight to keep going. We are now meeting our Circle of Light twice weekly, starting tomorrow (though not Wed. this week) and we will continue to surround you and infuse you with healing light.
Hello my dear friends,
Although some amazing things have happened this month for my career and financials, I am having a dreadful time with my health.
I've been told I have a very high threshold for pain. Maybe it is that I am able to mentally take myself elsewhere. But for at least a week I have had a great deal of physical pain and the specialist tells me it will be hard to heal, While honest of him, it's not a great thing to hear.
And this pain is triggering trauma responses in me, causing me to almost get hit by the PTSD train, just barely holding off an episode, and then followed 2 days of overwhelming bipolar depression, feeling weak and dehydrated from crying and the realization that although I extended forgiveness, I am not healed and really have not truly forgiven. There is a lot more to process and grieve from the divorce of my longest attempt at marriage, 25 years long heartbreak.
I am spending my Holiday in meditative prayers and Judaic songs. I will visit a creek as I do every year, and perform the Taschlich service where bread is cast on moving waters as a way of acknowledging and then washing away a symbolic list of transgressions against others. and myself I suppose.
To all who celebrate Yom Kippur I wish you Yom Tov and an easy fast.
Hi @ghandigirl. I googled the Tashlich service because I wanted to learn more about it... The first thing that came up was a newsletter? from Congregation Beth Shalom in Wilmington DE with this humorous list. I'm hoping this doesn't offend anyone, but I'm thinking Spirit wants you to know that laughter is great medicine:
Richard Israel's Crumb List © 1997
Taking a few crumbs to Tashlich from whatever old bread is in the house lacks subtlety, nuance and religious sensitivity. I would suggest that we can do better. Instead:
For ordinary sins, use - White Bread
For exotic sins - French Bread
For particularly dark sins - Pumpernickel
For complex sins - Multi-grain
For twisted sins – Pretzels
For sins of indecision - Waffles
For sins committed in haste - Matzah
For sins committed in less than eighteen minutes - Shmurah Matzah
For sins of chutzpah - Fresh Bread
For substance abuse/marijuana - Stoned Wheat
For substance abuse/heavy drugs - Poppy Seed
For arson - Toast
For timidity - Milk Toast
For high-handedness - Napoleons
For being sulky - Sourdough
For not giving full value - Short bread
For silliness - Nut Bread
For jingoism - Yankee Doodles
For telling bad jokes - Corn Bread
For being money-hungry - Enriched Bread or Raw Dough
For telling small lies - Fudge
For war-mongering - Kaiser Rolls
For promiscuity - Hot Buns
For racism - Crackers
For unfairly up-braiding others - Challah
For being holier-than-thou - Bagels
For provocative dressing - Wonton Wrappers
For indecent photography - Cheese Cake
For snobbery - Upper Crusts
For trashing the environment - Dumplings
For being hypercritical - Pan Cakes
For the sin of laziness - Any Very Long Loaf
For political skullduggery - Bismarcks
For over-eating - Stuffing Bread
For gambling - Fortune Cookies
For pride - Puff Pastry
For being snappish - Ginger Bread
For recurring slip ups - Banana Bread
For davening off tune - Flat Bread
For impetuosity - Quick Bread
For silliness - Nut Bread
For auto theft - Caraway
For risking one's life unnecessarily - Hero Bread
For excessive use of irony - Rye Bread
❤️
AWESOME!
Will be sharing with family tonight!
@ghandigirl I don’t know what to say except that I’m sending you love and a big hug. I will pray that your pain goes away. Take care dear one. You are a beautiful person. ❤️?☮️??
We thought of you tonight during our Circle of light meditation tonight. You are not alone.
@ghandigirl, thinking of you and sending you good vibrations. I hope the celebrations and rituals will give you some peace of mind and renewed vigor to deal with the pain. Wish you a little bubble, just for you and yours, to feel safe and comfortable in. ❤️
I am so sorry for your pain and struggles, @ghandigirl. You will be in my daily prayers.
You hold a special place in my heart, and are a gift to this community. I am sending you healing light and lots of love. ?
I am truly touched. Thank you all so much.
Today was a day of truly extraordinary abundance. Many blessings occurring now after a very long journey.
Gentlepeople,
I am once again going "under the knife" on Wednesday morning, this time for hernia repair surgery. My doctor tells me that I will be pretty much out of commission for at least 4-6 weeks, with residual pain for up to 6 months. If anyone feels led to see anything regarding the outcome, I would appreciate it. If not, please do give me the benefit of your good thoughts and/or prayers. Thank you! :-)
@tgraf66. Sending you healing prayers, surrounding you with light and protection, and wishing you the best outcome. We will also include you in our prayers during Wednesday's Circle of Light.
I'm sending love and healing prayers your way. I'll be holding you in the light tomorrow morning, and you'll be in my thoughts during tomorrow evening's meditation. ?
@tgraf66 I’m sending you healing light for a smooth procedure and quick healing! All the best to you!
Today I thought .. perhaps some wisdom from Mr. Twain ...
I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it. – Mark Twain
Give every day the chance to become the most beautiful of your life. – Mark Twain
Worrying is like paying a debt you do not owe. – Mark Twain