Hi all ... very quick ask for good energy and prayer and protection. My dad was in a freak accident (because truly, there is no other kind when it comes to him; he doesn't do anything in a normal way), and is in the hospital. My mom can't enter the hospital because of covid. We don't know anything about his condition, he had to be taken my ambulance, my uncle was with him but is in shock and wasn't able to tell my mom much. Please send goodness and strength to him and my mom. Thank you so much.
My meditation with Jeanne and some of the others from this lovely forum led to an epiphany. I think I have found out how to let this go. While meditating, I was reminded of the fact that I am good. I do good. I can share goodness with others. And that it's okay to feel these feelings. I was frustrated by feeling angry. I didn't want to feel it. I wanted it to just go away. And that just meandered into some other things I think I'd forgotten about suffering and wanting what we can't have.
I'm Catholic (well, sort of lapsed, but I identify with the mysticism -- not what people have done to pollute it over the centuries), but I know about Buddhism because it's part of the curriculum I teach to 6th graders in my state (along with all world religions). Buddhism would teach that I must detach from the desire here. So my desire is to preserve my dignity. My desire is to protect my work product. My desire is to hold her accountable. Can I NOT want those things?
I thought to myself, what if I just let her get away with this? She will have my work product. So what? Does that change my value? No. It might allow her to steal business from me and the other consultants, but in truth, this is not my calling. Who has attached my dignity to this situation? I have. She certainly hasn't, lol. So why would I give her the power to take my dignity away? No. She will not.
The truth is that this part-time consulting I've been doing was a nice opportunity. It paid a lot of money which helped us during some really difficult times in the past. I enjoy working with other teachers and helping them hone their practices, but if I am honest with myself, this isn't what I see myself doing long term. At one time, I thought I could do it in retirement, but now I feel there is a different path, and retirement is a long way off, yet for me.
I do have some other irons in the fire. They aren't ripe yet, so they may not even pan out, but who knows? Maybe this is a way for me to gain clarity about what really is important to me.
Parizienne
@parizienne good thoughts. Good luck and take care - you sound like you are on a good track!
@saibh I am so sorry to hear this news. I will lift your dad, and all of you, in prayer for a complete healing and peace to you all. Peace dear one. ❤️☮️
Hi everyone. I'm asking if some of you can hold some space for me over the next few days. Tomorrow I go into Boston for an appointment with my ophthalmologist, and on Saturday I have an MRI scan of my brain.
Although a lot of people are afraid of picking up COVID-19 in medical settings, the virus is the least of my medical concerns now. My trips into the biomedical labyrinth are an isolating experience, mostly because of the overriding story of doom that's conveyed by our medical infrastructure. These people and institutions can literally change the physiology of my body because they create a morphic field of possibility that says, "your body will falter and you might die young, because science."
This is the battle I have to wage as I navigate a new story of healing. Until I have a circle of close friends and soul allies in real time who will affirm my story, I don't know who else to ask for support.
I am honored to bear witness for you.
Facing mortality is hard at any age, but I feel harder for the young. No matter how many days you get to be here, and here with us, I for one am very glad to be connected to you.
I also will hold you in healing light.
:) Here is one of my pieces. It is called Coyote Dreams. Look for the words in the wind. I send this to you as my gift and my prayer.
I so related to what you posted. I had all kinds of ideas about how I would spend my retirement by continued mentoring and training of beginning teachers, and maybe become a professor in the future. A few years ago physical and emotional wounds caused me to choose to become semiretired, being unable to do my job teaching fulltime anymore and I then was given a job, sight unseen, by an old friend to tutor.
Tutoring fits me like a glove. Not only do I get to still affect young lives, albeit fewer, I don't have to deal with ego, or territorial issues, or anything. I make my schedule and I enjoy the flexibility. My two students are like family.
This is certainly not the future I had envisioned. But it is better for me than my original plan.
Your future may come to you in a way you didn't ever plan for. The prayer I always say is "This or Something Better" I feel good things for you and I wish them for you too.
@coyote When I am at a loss for words, i usually fall back on the wisdom of Dorothy Maclean, one of the co-founders of Findhorn Garden, whose work with the devic spirits left an indelible mark on me decades ago. As I scoured for something suitable for you, these words, which came to her in a meditation, leapt up at me:”Everything is living and everything has a place in my one life and that life force is more than what you call magnetism. It is an influence consciously wielded on the higher levels. You are simply surrounded by life; you are a life force moving among other life forces.”
You are a force of life and a force of nature.
You do have a circle of allies right here. We can't be there in person, but we're there with you.
You're right to NOT worry so much about COVID - my experiences in medical settings (with the exception of the nutty opthalmologist) has been very positive. The bigger the facility and the further it is from the ICUs, the safer. Take all reasonable precautions, and if they try to convince you you're doomed, nod, smile and move on, you know better.
I don't know your views on spirit guides, or if you are acquainted with yours, but I have one or two that seem to specialize in keeping me company when I'm going through heavy medical stuff. They are a comfort to me, so if you can/if you want to, think of yours and see who pops in. I had a brain scan in 2008, and I remember the guide who helped me that day. She stayed beside me from beginning to end, and assured me nothing concerning would be found (she was right). I will try to meditate on her, and I will ask her to fly to your side, so if someone pops in to help, let me know - it would be fun to compare notes and see if it was her. There's another guide who is strong in all areas, and who I've shared with others before. I'll call on him too. So keep your third eye peeled!
This or something better. That is really good counsel. I learned when I went through a divorce many years ago, that “better” truly is possible. Thank you for that reminder. ?
@Coyote I am so sorry to read this. Please keep in mind that friends come in all shapes and sizes. We are all here for you and send you warmth and good vibrations. If you feel alone, rest assured in the fact that you are not. ❤️
@coyote, the past few nights I've been reading a book about a woman who experienced a miraculous healing from a terminal illness. Yesterday evening these words popped out at me: "You are far more than your biology. You are infinitely greater than that." I immediately thought of you. A message from spirit.
You'll be in my thoughts and heart today and this weekend, dear Coyote. Sending you support, healing and lots of love.