@jeanne-mayell I want to thank you and everyone for all the love and reassurance you have sent to my family and I. I let my fears shadow my emotions and cause me despair,but I am getting better everyday because of the kind words of this community and my mother-in-law told me “Worrying your self to death isn’t gonna help, she’s been there, I need to be positive and productive to keep my mind straight and stop freaking out over things not yet to come cause the future isn’t set in stone.” Thank you for the reassurance that we will get to see my little one grow up and for telling us we are protected ? I feel all the love from y’all surrounding us everyday and it makes me believe deep down I will have a long life with him and watch him achieve greatness. He is such a kind hearted child, he will go up to anyone and make there day by saying hi then give them hugs. He is my little angel ? I feel this community as my second family I never knew I needed, but I love how supportive and caring every one of y’all are. Thank you empathic lights for everything you do ❤️❤️❤️?
This morning I woke up to the news that my students' Great Aunt was taken by Covid in the night. They are a poor black family. Today I am feeling their pain as well as the pain of the entire black community of Philadelphia. I so wish I could just go hug and hold my students today. They have lost friends and family members to violence and have had more losses than any kids of 13 and 17 should have to have. Now we work online, but I have given them the day off of course. This is my third year working with this family. They are like a son and daughter to me, especially during this year when I was estranged from my own child.
I sent a bouquet to the family. It is my love in the only way I can give it right now. I hope it comforts them.
Her name was Neicy and I am praying she is with the angels now.
Also, I am feeling so scared. Crying for them, crying for everyone. Being an empath is feeling overwhwelming right now.
@ghandigirl, you are such a beautiful soul. I understand the pain you must be feeling as you bear witness to the losses. Your students and their families are so blessed to have you in their lives, as are we in this community. You are a true healer.
I understand your fears and how overwhelming it feels right now. I feel that way too. Do you ever participate in Jeanne's Circle of Light Healing meditation on Wednesday evenings? It can be quite powerful and unifying. It can help me feel less alone in my grief.
With all of the uncertainty and darkness around us, there is still a space for hope. Life never stands still. There is still so much beauty in this world. ?
Posted by @ghandigirl:
Saw the first robin of spring today. Funny how nature just goes on despite the heartbreak.
It was very kind of you to send flowers. I went to the viewing of my ex-landlady, and was not one flower. Silly practical me gave them money.
My daughter in Tucson, AZ has had to stay home from work except for one day a week because her boss is afraid of catching the virus (her husband works at a food store). Anyway she has been sewing masks (125 so far) and giving them away. She gave me six. There are people here selling them for as much as $5. One person sold her's for $2 each. They cost about a dollar to make.
Apple.
Not my friend today.
You know the evil queen from Snow White? You know the poisonous apple she gives to Snow White?
Well, the evil queen has visited my home with not one but 2 poison apples today. One apple has produced swear words and high blood pressure. The other, a hard drive death sentence. She is EVIL I tell ya
I don't actually need support, had enough of "support" for the day lol. I just wanted to vent.
The Mac is under warranty, just over a year old, so there is that. My sanity? That is questionable at this point.
I wanted to let everyone know that I've been sleeping so much better lately. (in previous posts I asked for help with sleeping issues). It turns out that after a remote chat with my doctor and my own intuition about it, I reduced the amount of thyroid medication I was taking AND I stopped watching the news most nights. I get snipits now of the news from my husband and watch it occasionally only. Both of these things have helped me tremendously, as did the suggestions from Jeanne and Frank.
Thank you all and Namaste!
Hello everybody,
This is my first post and thought this would be the best thread to do it in. First of all, thank you for sharing your thoughts so openly and being so kind. I have been reading these forums for over 2 years and they've given me a lot of hope to get through these troubled times. I often find myself re-reading the predictions you've all made, when Mr. Turd has shown his mug again, and despair threatens to take hold.
I've been a sensitive (is that how you call it?) all my life and studied druidism for a while, before life snatched me up and I turned away from these things and slowly (sneaky in a way) I was 'turned off' so to speak. After 20 years in the dark I've made changes I should have made long ago and I clawing my way back to myself;-)
That said, I'm still dealing with the loss of my my best friend; my mother to Alzheimer's a few years ago (she still alive, but yeah...) who's journey to diagnoses was really ugly since it started right after the birth of my daughter and she got angry and dismissive because of the disease. I often feel like I had to choose between my daughter (I'm a single and working mom) and my mother so I'm still wrecked with guilt with no chance of absolution.
Apologies for rambling on, but the reason I am telling you is that I would have loved to be part of the intuitive group of Power of Eight, because I want to help and add to the army of love removed link However, I feel that I'm still slightly 'locked' due to the above.
I hope you don't mind me skulking and chipping in whenever I can add something.
Bless you all and thank you again!
Thank you for your post here, and blessings to YOU....
I have to say that if you are drawn to this 'sight', you are an intuitive, sensitive person, and we are all mirrors of one another, with much to contribute and inspire each other with ... especially in these transformational times!
Jeanne works very hard to make this forum a cohesive and open community, and you don't have to be an spiritual or intellectual giant, or anyone's bff, or even agree with anyone's perception, to participate.
We are one and all on the journey, and it would be wonderful if more people would manifest their thoughts, feelings and insights here ...together we are stronger.
With love and light ...?
@moonbeam Welcome to our community. I so feel for you. Alzheimer's is so cruel when it happens to someone you love and so extra cruel that it happened when you had your child. I want to wrap you in our love, dear moonbeam.
@ Stargazer and Jeanne, thank you for your welcome. Let's turn this world towards the light!
I don't need thoughts or healing so much ... but today I'm just feeling really down about the world and humanity in general. I'm aware I was born a pessimist, however nothing in my time here on Earth has changed that. I'm feeling more misanthropic than ever. Sorry.
I remain grateful for our lockdown time, I have nothing to complain about personally. I'm not suicidal or anything, far from it, I'm actually less depressed/anxious than prior to the pandemic. For me it's more of a wish-I'd-never-been-born scenario. Before any of you start quoting "It's a Wonderful Life" to me, you need to know that I have always disagreed with the primary sentiments in that movie. Why? Because I believe that the Universe really does provide what's needed, and that, for example, had George not been there to pull his brother out of the pond, someone else would have.
Maybe I shouldn't have looked up plagues of the past. The Justinian Plague of the 6th century really set me back today. And then I was asked to relate a family story of the 1918 FluPandemic, which I did -- long story short grandparents were survivors, however several of their siblings died of it. Yes, modern medicine holds way more hope for dealing with novel plagues as they come along, however human nature seems to be to forget. And forget. And forget. Technology changes but human nature not so much.
I've said it before, but I just can't get past thinking that the default setting for human is "self-protecting, murderous ape with opposable thumbs."
End of rant... sorry...
"Every time a bell rings ....."
Nooo, don't hit me Laura! Just kidding ... ?
For awhile now ( last couple of months) I've been going through bouts of severe depression at times that are directly caused by the crazy circumstances that we all find ourselves in ... and I can so relate to what you are feeling today....
This author, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, came across my path, and in her books she discusses the ' Five Stages of Grief'... denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance.
It sort of dawned on me that the world has been feeling this process since the demon virus has attempted to take over our lives, and the anger stage seems to be manifesting alot. Kubler-Ross states in her writings too that "(The process) doesn't proceed in linear, predictable fashion".... so we could be experiencing several stages at the same time... heavy jelly.
With all the retro planets happening that I keep going on and on about, it's just a flamin' challenge ... more important than ever to keep our hearts to the light and our hands on the wheel, and to be kind to ourselves ...
Tomorrow and tomorrow and the next day ...
Sending you love beautiful Laura, and hope some of this rambling resonated with you ... peace ?
Thanks. Your post put me in mind of this, though:
I have read at least one article comparing what we are feeling as a collective to the stages of grief noted by Kubler-Ross.
I know you know yourself and your personality better than anyone else.
I wonder, have you ever tried being actively grateful? Finding things to be grateful for in your daily life, every day, no matter how lousy the day has been? I notice the more I search out reasons for gratitude, the more it becomes part of my life. Gratitude lightens my mood. Gratitude lifts me. It also alters my perceptions deep inside my being.
Marvelous!
My Shakespeare is a bit rusty, but I have always liked this piece from Hamlet :
Doubt thou the stars are fire
Doubt that the sun doth move
Doubt truth to be a liar
But never doubt I love
(Will)
"And to all, a good night ...."
(Santa Claus ?)
I do that every day. I am grateful for a lot, the small picture stuff is wonderful. My days in quarantine have been way better than expected, I'm actually quite happy here in my own little bubble. What gets me is the big picture stuff, not finding a lot to be grateful for there. I'm well aware these things are out of my control, even so, I feel like things will not ever get better in my lifetime and maybe not even in my daughter's.
@ Stargazer and Jeanne, thank you for your welcome. Let's turn this world towards the light!
Welcome moonbeam. Your name is lovely and conjures up light and elegance.
I can't recall who wrote first about their mother and their daughter. I want to say this to all of us women here as we are all somebody's daughter...now that I am both a mother and a daughter I see how fraught with regret both paths can be. The weight of mistakes made in both of these very important, core, self defining relationships, can sour us to interacting.
All I can say, from my own experience, is that as I practice gratitude, as I forgive all of us, I insert peacefulness into the situation. Sometimes my gratitude is simply that I have breath in my lungs. Sometimes it is remembering the wonder and joy of stewarding a life into birth.
My mother has dementia and I lost my father, in part, to Alzheimer's. We were/are lucky that both parents have retained their basically sunny nature.
I knew a man who suffered in the way your mother is suffering, with a change in personality. I feel strongly she is still there underneath that symptom. Maybe try speaking to that version. If not, you can offer love in a card, that she can reread. and if she is prone to throwing it back in your face or something, know that some part of her is aware of the love being offered, even if the disease prevents her from responding as her higher self.
I also can respond as a person with mental/mood/illness and the daughter of a person with mental/mood/illness, AND now the mother of a newly diagnosed daughter with mental/mood/illness. It near killed my spirit when my child told me she has most of what I have. I was horrified for her, knowing how difficult this path is to manage even semi-comfortably, often.
I also wallowed in regret for things that my brain had me do, that were not in line with who I wanted to be and how I wanted to parent. I am learning to reframe these regrets and mistakes. I am working not to flog myself with them. I am looking for the silver lining.
And the truth is, my mother is teaching me things even now as she declines. And I have taught my daughter the comfort of being on the right meds and being relaxed.Would that I had been diagnosed at 20, my life surely would have been an easier path to walk. However, would she have had the incentive to get checked out if not for my example of an undiagnosed illness going off the rails? So it served it's purpose, even though it was painful and hard to understand or accept at the time.
Your mother is teaching you to see beyond symptoms. Feel the knowledge that you love her and she loves you. Do what you must to protect your energy. Being moms means we have to stay healthy as we are no longer living mostly just for ourselves. Try to let go of guilt about your mom. My mom misses me terribly and doesn't fully always remember why she can't see us. I did feel guilty but, this virus has forced me to look at the safety aspect. I am keeping her safe by keeping my distance. Distancing yourself from your mother, especially to tend to your daughter, is a loving act. You are giving her less of a reason to act out which is giving her more peace.
At least that's how I see it. Maybe something I've written will resonate.
And for Laura F.
Keep the Faith. This will pass. :)
p.s. i enjoyed the Wednesday meditation. Everything was cracking on me after weeks of stress.