@Cindy - So sorry for the loss of your mother, even if it sounds expected, more sorry you can't engage properly in the closure rituals that are not permitted right now. Stay strong.
@Jason - You might want to look into what's involved with taking a medical leave for school, and use your anxiety/depression as the cause. If you can engage with an online therapist, do so, and they may be able to "certify" that you are not medically able to participate in school at this time, that may save your financial aid.
@Triciact - Here's my suggestions for insomnia:
- Turn off ALL electronic devices 2-3 hours before you want to fall asleep
- Avoid documentaries, news and caffeine after 5pm (not even chocolate). Also avoid alcohol after 5pm (as I get older I find that it just keeps me up).
- Find a pleasant fiction book to read at night - my faves when I'm stressed are the Harry Potter books and Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
- Binaural beats music - listen in bed on good headphones - here's my favorite: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5jmrIggwCXc
- Use essential oil of lavender - put a few drops on a blindfold or other cloth to lay over your eyes. Spritz some around your bedding. Alternatively, if yo have fresh in your garden, tuck a few sprigs under your pillow.
- I don't have one, but I know a lot of people keep a Himalayan pink salt lamp in their bedrooms to create a soothing atmosphere.
- Consider doing a crossword or adult coloring book during the day, leave your phone off for a bit here and there.
- Netflix has a few old Bob Ross videos - try watching one before you shut off the TV for the night.
- Supplement with Magnesium glycinate (or lactate) after dinner. Start with 500mg, you can take more, but if you get diarrhea back off.
- Consider CBD supplementation - Charlotte's Web is a reliable online brand.
- Drink chamomile or rooibos tea after dinner, consider having a light carb with it, like one piece of buttery toast, or a couple of crackers with a nut butter, or an apple.
- Take a warm shower or bath before bedtime too.
- Make sure you bedroom is cool and dark.
Hope this helps!
@stargazer Thank you for sharing this. I too have been looking for music to lull me into sleep; as I used to live in New Mexico, the name Taos Winds Spirit Music definitely speaks to me.
Welcome. I am relatively new myself but I could feel your anguish. Certainly isolation is not doing anything for you. Perhaps we can reframe the online learning experience for you. Is there a classmate you can team up with via Zoom or any other means? That will help with brainstorming, exchanging concepts & hopefully it will assuage the loneliness that you feel. It sounds like a small step to take but 1+1 >2 in this case. What if you initiated a study group? Don’t feel you’ve to limit yourself to just the students in your class. How about a peer or peers halfway around the globe? Send out a call on social media and see what flows back to you. Your curriculum will not be the same but the interactions may give you the uplift and inspiration you need to revive your desire to learn to help the planet. Please keep us in the loop.
@Jason, One more thing. I suspect that if you drop out, it will be harder for you to get the drive to get back in.
You are clearly out of your comfort zone in the online classes. Okay, I get it. But you might gain something from staying in the game and finishing. It is hard and so painful, but you might learn something about yourself about facing this adversity and pushing through the pain. I think you will be glad you saw it through.
I wonder if any of us can give you tips to deal with the really boring online classes? I have suffered LD (Learning disability) issues all my life, and a few years ago was forced to take five hard online classes a in order to get a degree I wanted. When I was in college forty years earlier, I would get incomplete at the end of the semester rather than face final exams in some subjects. I'd finish the courses during the summer.
So much of the problem had been fear -- a belief that if I hadn't mastered the material, I'd fail the test.I couldn't bear to fail.
So back in those early days, I would get an incomplete and take the whole summer to finish the course. But when I went back to school a few years ago, they weren't going to let me do that without paying extra $ for it. I was forced to buck up and get through it. And I did.
The trick I used was to visualize every day for two weeks before the test that I passed it. Perhaps that gave me the courage to show up or maybe it caused me to pass.
Whatever you do, let us help encourage you.
@Jeanne-mayell and @Pikake: Thank you both for your suggestions and willingness to help. I truly do appreciate it.
Jeanne, upon reflection, what underlies my academic difficulties is fear as well. For me, the fear is that I haven't chosen the right path in life, that all the work and money I've invested in has been for nothing, and I'll never really end up getting the educational experience I want. Ever since high school, and probably before, I've felt resentful that what I was doing in school was just busy work, and I never got the opportunity to learn the things that I want to learn. I'm not giving up at this point; I've decided to make this investment and work within the (very very) imperfect framework of education that our society provides at the moment.
For me, the trouble isn't absorbing the information; it's forcing myself to stay the course even though I don't like the work that I have to do. I know through experience that I can do well at most everything if I apply myself, but too often I let myself get burnt-out and resentful and end up quitting in a self-defeating gesture. To overcome this, I think the key concepts I need to apply are budgeting and balance. Budgeting in the sense of setting a finite amount of time per day to work on my schoolwork where I won't get distracted, so that the work is not a vague dark cloud hanging over my entire week. I'm familiar with the Pomodoro method and it does help at forcing me to get started, as initially painful as it is.
Balance for me, is reminding myself that there is a life outside of school. I have been guilty of working so hard and with so much determination to get a good grade that it's at the detriment of other things that give me joy in life (that's the burnout that I mentioned). I think it's even more important for me to look for other experiences that can give me the feelings of satisfaction and gratification that have been inevitably deferred in this situation. Now that the virus situation has clouded the future in terms of how my academic journey is going to work itself out, I need things in my life that bring me concrete indications of progress. For me, that's my other life creative projects that I do have more control over like art, cooking, and now, starting a modest garden.
So, I think at this point life is forcing me to learn self-discipline (as much I don't like the term, it sounds punitive, but it is what it is). I can see the value in that for me, but oh it's a hard lesson to learn. Thank you for giving me the space to vent; I'm working through it and I'm not giving up yet.
Hi Jason. I can relate to a lot of what you wrote. We're about the same age. Because of intervening personal issues, it took me nearly six years to get my BA in environmental studies, and there were several times when I just wanted to give up. I agree with most of what has already been said here by others.
But I do think that occasionally giving yourself a break can be necessary. If that's what your inner compass is telling you to do, go for it. If you can find a way to take off a semester or a full year beginning next fall, you may want to mix things up and do something unconventional. I took a semester off to work and live on organic farms through a "barter" system that was facilitated by the platform WWOOF-USA (I've gushed about this program before). Unlike restaurants, farms need to stay open. In fact, organic CSA farms are turning out to be a major node of resilience while our industrial food system goes into convulsions. There's the plus that this work lends itself to environmental studies.
Just an idiosyncratic thought ? .
Hi Jason. My daughter and her cohorts also had to finish their year online. She doesn't mind having some online classes in general and actually likes French and a few others because she is an introvert. It doesn't work well when a majority of your classes are music and you can't perform your ensemble classes online. Her boyfriend is a aeronautical engineer and he is a straight A student who loves in person classes. It has been a difficult transition for him to online only. Many of his professors are not tech savvy and he feels there is more work than before. He thrives in in-person class settings and is getting very discouraged. Yo are not alone in your struggle.
I have a question, Are you able to have an internship? That might be helpful for a variety of reasons. Also, can you form online groups to study and discuss classes? Ones where you actually interact with your voice, not just messaging? That might help. Can you read reviews of teachers and see which ones are good online instructors and take their classes?
Lots of good suggestions so far from others. I hope you feel supported and can come up with something that will work for you. Good Luck and let us know how things go.
As I write this, I hope you are sound asleep in peaceful slumber. Insomnia is such a beast. I’ve noticed that I tend to sleep better when I’ve exercised that day, especially after a long walk outside. That’s hard to fit in when you’ve been working all day or the weather is inclement. There have been a lot of great tips posted for you and I hope you get some relief soon. Just know that I am thinking of you and sending you love and peace.
Somehow I missed your post yesterday, so apologies for not replying sooner.
I teach at a state university in North Carolina and the transition to online learning has been difficult. I lost 1/3 of my students, although I've done what I can to email them to encourage them, reduce the course load, etc. But online learning doesn't work for everyone, and not everyone has a good situation at home, which the isolation can make worse.
Has your university offered any options to help students grade-wise? Ours has given students the option to withdraw from classes even after grades are posted (the code reads withdraw-COVID) and they can opt for a passing grade to read "Satisfactory" (pass for pass/fail) instead of a letter grade. So even if they pass with a C minus, they can change that to a "S" and their GPA will not be affected. I hope that administrators at your school have put in place some similar options, and it may be worth investigating.
In any case, you might just break down what you need to do to focus on just passing your classes. Be gentle and kind with yourself right now, and understand that you are doing your best under VERY difficult, unprecedented circumstances. A C or D may be a win right now, especially if that means you don't have to re-take the class. But even if you need to withdraw or can't pass, please know that you will be okay. Back in college I struggled terribly with depression, and my first semester of college I couldn't get out of bed for days at a time. I was suicidal and even made an attempt at one point. So I failed my Understanding Fiction class, but that didn't stop me from eventually completing a degree in English, going on to graduate school, and even teaching first-year writing. Anyone who is looking at student transcripts for Spring 2020 will know that student performance will be affected by COVID-19.
One thing I encourage my students to do is to break down large tasks into smaller, more manageable bits and to set one small goal per day--this can help reduce the overwhelm. Since you are missing interpersonal connection, you might look into what tutoring services have been made available online. Our writing center and academic support services are still going right now, using technology to connect peer tutors with students. You might use that as an "accountability" measure--just to motivate you to study content for a test or write a draft of a paper due, and you'll also have that connection with a person.
This sure isn't easy! Do what you can to get through, and be kind to yourself.